The Silver Dawn
by steffy2106
Summary: My version of book 3 of the Red Queen series. Do not read if you haven't read Glass Sword as this story is full of spoilers. It is exclusively Mare POV, starts immediately where Glass Sword end.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N: Hey All!**

 **I loved Glass sword so much i decided to write my own version of book 3. If you haven't read book 2 just stop reading now or you're going to be VERY spoiled! Thank you so much to oneaquaberry for using her amazing skills to beta this chapter!**

 **Don't hesitate to leave me a little review- I love to read you!**

 **Steffy2106**

Chapter 1:

I knelt by the throne, my eyes fixing onto the crowds of people that surrounded us. Their faces were twisted into mocking smiles as they threw insult after insult at me. They fed off his smile, and ate up his reaction like a homeless person at his very first feast. But if they hoped to humiliate me-if he hoped to humiliate me-they were mistaken. I've already been humiliated enough. Mere words could not hurt me now. The collar at my neck, and the hand that held my leash was humiliation enough.

Maven pulled on my leash, forcing me to slide closer to him. I kept my eyes glued to the crowd, but a quick glance to the left showed me that Maven's well-polished black boots were close. Way too close. I tried to shift further away, to put some distance between me and that _thing,_ but the leach was pulled tight.

 _Would he hit me in public?_ I didn't even need time to consider it. Of course he would. Closing my eyes, I willed my lightning into existence. But instead of that familiar, comforting spark, I felt nothing. I let out a faint gasp, my mind running at a million miles per minute, trying desperately to find a meaning behind the madness.

No silencer. No drugs. For the first time in god knows how many months, I actually felt like myself. So where the hell was my lightning?

Beside me, Maven let out a low chuckle. "There is no need to try, Mare. You're only going to waste your time, and frustrate yourself. I had this collar made especially for you. Consider it a welcome back present. Call it wishful thinking, but I knew you would be returning to my side eventually.

I cursed myself for not considering this sooner. It made sense, in a Maven Calore kind of way. He could silence my powers, and torture me at the same time. It was a win-win situation, at least in his eyes. And of course, he probably requested for the collar to be extra tight, just to rub it in.

Maven chuckled again. "I knew you were smart Mare; it's why I was drawn to you in the first place." His fingers landed on my hair, rubbing a strand of it between his fingers thoughtfully. I wanted to pull it off.

He sighed, dropping his fingers to his side. "I think I humiliated you enough for one day." He stood up, pulling me to my feet. I winced at the pain, feeling hot trails of blood slowly run down my back. I stood up-my legs shaky- and realized that I might have been kneeling for much longer that I initially thought.

Maven started to walk back to his carriage, pulling me back with him. My eyes searched for Jon in the crowd. I hated myself for trusting him, for hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'd help me.

He probably was the one that sold us out to Maven. Now that my mind was clear, it made complete, cold, calculating sense. My cheeks burnt red with anger and betrayal. How many times will I trust blindly, believing the best in everyone? _Anyone can betray anyone._

I expected him to throw me into the armoured transport and back to my prison cell, but instead he pulled me towards his own carriage.

I couldn't stop the surprise from showing in my face- something Maven picked up on immediately. He'd always been able to read me-like I was an open book, there for him to study-and though I had once found that charming, now I just found it annoying.

"Don't act like you're surprised, Mare," he said with a smirk. "Without your powers, you're just a weak and pathetic little girl."

I snarled at him, though I had promised myself to stop antagonizing him. "We're the same age, Maven in case you haven't realised."

He rolled his eyes, brushing me off with a wave of his hand, but I continued, edged on by being able to speak freely for the first time in god knows how long.

"And look around, Maven. If you think I'm as _weak_ and _pathetic_ as you say, why do you feel the need for guards? Guards that I'm pretty sure are meant to protect _you_ from _me."_

This was the most words I've said since giving myself up to him, but somehow, even though the burning in my throat, I managed to continue. "Tell me King Maven, what does that say about you?"

I saw him flush pale with anger, his eyes a vicious fiery inferno. And then his hands moved, faster than I expected, faster than I could react. His slap hit me across my cheek, the force of it causing my head to ring. "When will you learn to keep your tongue, Mare?" he said, clucking his tongue. "I guess I will need to remind you that your actions will have consequences. Goodnight, Mare."

Before I could react, Maven pulled out a needle from inside his pocket, and plugged it into my throat. I didn't even bother to fight. This was not a fight I'd expected to win. His smirking, pale face was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.

* * *

I was roughly shaken awake.

Maven nudged me with his foot, sighing when my eyelids slowly fluttered, betraying my state of consciousness. "Come on Mare, we're losing daylight," he said, smiling when I opened my eyes.

I tried to stand, but he roughly shoved me down. I winced at the pain, but it was something that I was used to now.

It seemed that my leash was attached to a metal chain on the wall. I looked around and frowned. I was not in my cell but in what looked like a sitting room. There was a thin mattress by the wall, my new kernel, I supposed.

"You're in my quarters; I believe that having you near is better for everyone." He crouched in front of me and I noticed the hunting knife in his hand.

"Maven-" I began hesitantly, but he cut me off with a wave of his knife.

"It's Your Highness for you, Mare. You've lost the right of calling me anything else when you chose Cal over me."

"I didn't –"

"Lies!" he snarled and I saw the hand holding the knife twitch.

There was blood on the knife, red blood. I couldn't feel any wounds on my body, so whose blood _was_ it?

Maven saw my eyes on the blade and twisted it lightly to give me a better view." Don't worry, little lightening girl, it's not your blood." He gave me a mirthless smile. "I realized that you don't really care about your life or what might happen to you."

He twisted his mouth in clear displeasure. "That complicate how I might punish you. But I have a solution now: for every time you don't obey an order, for every time you defy me, I will hurt one of yours. Believe me; I have plenty to choose from in our jail."

He looked at his knife. "I believe this blood is from…" He trailed off thoughtfully. "What was her name again? It was hard to understand in between her screams. She was a seamstress with your sister. Well it might be hard for her to ever do that again with three fingers missing. But don't worry she knows you're the one to thank for this."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. I knew Maven was cruel, but I didn't think that he would torture innocent people just to get back at me.

"You already have so much blood on your hands; you wouldn't want to add anymore would you?"

I shook my head. I knew he was talking about his mother and the people who died when I thought he was my friend. He had no idea on how badly I screwed up, how many more lives I had destroyed.

My hands were probably just as soiled as his but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing the extent of my failure; the monster I had become. "No, Your Highness."

He stood up, putting the knife away. "See it's going to work just fine." He pointed towards the mattress. "Go to your spot now, we have a long day tomorrow."

He watched me with a glint of malice in the eyes as I crawled towards the mattress.

"Good girl," he said as he turned around briskly and left the room.

I looked at the fire, doing my best to stop my tears from falling. I swore that I wouldn't go back to him but I did, I swore that I would never bow to him and I did, and I swore he would never break me but he was doing it. But now, looking at the fire, I swore that King Maven of Norta would never see me cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N:** Hey all!  
Thank you so much for all the reviews it means the world to me. Please note this story will be updated once a week. Don't forget to review I love reading you and once again a huge thank you to my amazing beta for all her hard work!

Steffy

 **Chapter 2:**

I couldn't remember when Maven took me as a pet. It could have been days ago, or weeks, or even months. The days ran into one another, each one similar enough that I fell into a sort of pattern.

A routine, albeit one meant to humiliate me.

Every morning I awoke to the same play, and the actors were servants who knew the script by heart. By the third day, I could recite it as well as them.

Wake up to stale bread with some unknown flavour being thrown next to my bed, then trying to force the rock hard substance down my throat as soon as possible. The less I tasted of that foul concoction, the better.

I was then washed by rough hands, scrubbing me down like every surface of my skin was covered in a year's worth of dirt and grime. Lastly, I was forced in a white tunic, similar to those adorned by the slaves, and spend my days kneeling by Maven's feet like a good lap dog. The crowd sneered, tossing both laughter and insult my way. None of them dared lay hands on me though, at least not in front of Maven – that was his prerogative.

And at night…Maven found a more innovative way to humiliate me. I was the unwilling witness to Maven's late night debauchery. By some small miracle, I managed to avoid being tied to a chair and forced to actually watch.

Instead, he left the door between his bedchamber and the living room opened, forcing me to listen to every scream, moan and sigh in silence. Maven probably forced the girls to scream extra loud, or face his royal wrath.

The first night that it happened, Maven had walked into the living area, freshly showered, his wet hair casually slicked back. He adorned not his usual uniform but an expensive looking pair of black pants, and a white shirt, shamelessly showing off his pale chest.

I frowned at his unusual attired.

He chuckled at my expression, coming to stand a few steps in front of me. "See something you like?"

 _No_ , I wanted to say, but fear and logic rendered me silent. I feared the weight of his ire, feared the lengths this cold, cruel man would go to, in order to keep me under his control. I feared for those that he would hurt in my behalf, and frankly, I did not want to add to the ever-growing span of bruises that decorated my skin like stars to an infinite sky.

"I don't want to hear a sound coming from your mouth, you hear me?" He grinned, clearly enjoying himself. "Enjoy the show…. It's mostly for you."

I keep my eyes down, hiding the confusion that was so obviously painted in my eyes. _Hold it together, Mare,_ I warned myself. _Don't give him anymore of yourself._

Maven left without farewell, not bothering to close the doors between mine and his. After a few moments, his intentions were painfully clear.

My silence turned into shock when I heard a familiar voice echoing from Maven's bedchambers. Evangeline. From the flirty tone in her voice, and the matching one in his, it was painstakingly obvious what her intentions were.

I rolled my eyes. It was such an Evangeline thing to do, so desperate to become Queen that she wouldn't mind settling for the younger, psychotic Calore brother, if it meant that she would hold the crown.

My annoyance transformed into bone-deep mortification, however, when I realised Maven's _exact_ plans for the evening. The words were obvious enough, without the moans to add emphasis to an event that I had neither business nor desire to witness.

I had to give it to Maven; he was always finding new and original ways to humiliate me, to show me I was nothing.

Maven's exploits continued on every night, though not always with Evangeline. After a few nights I managed to tune everything out.

As long as I was here and cooperative, I knew that Maven wouldn't bother searching for the rebellion. It would also keep the Reds trapped in his prison safe from whatever sadistic torture he had up his sleeve. He might have his fun with me, but he wouldn't do anything that would lead to my demise. I knew that he didn't share the same sentiment for everyone else.

Over time, I learnt to take control of my expression. No longer would I allow my true feelings to betray me. This came in handy when the guards took me to the throne room, the one where Cal had been forced to kill his father, the king.

I was glad that my face didn't reflect the pain, anger and betrayal that I saw in Cal's eyes as his sword, as his very own hands leached the life from his father's eyes.

Maven eyed me curiously as the guards pulled me to his throne, noting the absence of emotions in my face.

"It is grievance day," he announced, taking the leach from the guard and pulling me towards the throne.

I was bored as usual, and proceeded to occupy my time memorizing every room in the hope that, one day, it would help me do something – anything. At the moment I was helpless, mostly due to my own accord, but I hoped that one day, I would overcome that.

I let my eyes roam the room, trying to move my head as little as possible. I knew that Maven was always watching me in his peripheral, and I knew how perceptive could be. It had been one of my downfalls before, but it would not happen again.

Three doors… no four. Though I had prior experience with this room, the exact layout had not stood out. Now, however, instead of taking in every expensive object that adorned each room, I took in the windows and doors: practical things, things that would aid me someday.

I took it upon myself to count the guards in the room and to memorize their faces. They were the Royal guards: highly trained, dangerous and the most lethal of all. If there ever was an attack on the palace, they would be the ones that the resistance would have to take care of first.

I carefully studied each face until one of the guards met my eyes, causing me to pause in shock. He gave me both a half smile and the smallest, almost imperceptible nod but his face returned to that of bored indifference so quickly that I thought I imagined it.

I scrutinized the guard; he was tall-taller than most, attractive, with blond hair and dark eyes. I frowned, sorting through faces in my head, trying to pin him to someone familiar. Alas, it was to no avail. He was a stranger, then. His lips hinted to a half-smile, as if he could tell that I was studying him.

Distracted by the guard, I almost missed the man approaching Maven, leaning in to whisper something into his ear.

Maven stood up briskly, pulling on my leash, returning my attention back to him.

I turned my head to look to look at him, noting the worry and fear that flashed in his eyes.

Maven snapped his fingers towards one of the guards closest to him. "Take her back to my quarters; nobody gets in or out."

The guard nodded briskly before taking the leach and pulling me roughly behind him.

We were almost at the end of the corridor when a familiar word-or name rather-gave me pause. I heard the word 'Farley'.

I pulled at my chain, motioning for the guard to stop. "Please. Can we stop? I'm so tired…" Indeed I was. He was pulling me too fast, and my legs struggled to keep up. But I also wanted to eavesdrop…

The guard snorted indelicately, tugging violently on my leach.

I had to know which Farley they were talking about. Was it Diana?

I needed to know that she was safe, especially after what happened. I didn't think I could live with more blood on my conscience.

Little effort was required to pull me back to Maven's quarters-the lack of physical activity and the little amount of food weakened my muscles. I was as weak as Maven wanted me to be.

"Stop or there will be hell to pay," the guard growled, jerking my chain roughly. I stumbled forward, falling to my knees. The bastard continued to pull me, even then.

Once we reached the room, he threw me by my hair into Maven's chambers. I could tell, by the expression on his cruel face that he would strike me. He would defy Maven's orders, just to hurt me. I must have annoyed him, I thought, dazed. I took some satisfaction in that, knowing that I irritated him enough to face the wrath of someone like Maven.

The guard's hand tightened into a fist and I closed my eyes, expecting the blow.

Except none came.

I opened my eyes hesitantly, spotting the guard who had smiled at me in the throne room with his hand wrapped about other guard's wrist, stopping him mid-strike.

"I believe the king's order was to bring her back to his quarters, not to damage her." His voice was deep and cool but I could feel his eyes on my body in quiet assessment.

"The traitor bitch didn't want to listen." The guard struggled out of the blond man's grip. "And since when is this any of your business, Kyan? I don't remember you being promoted my boss."

Kyan smiled. "And I don't believe that the King would appreciate you bruising what belongs to him."

The guard tried to punch him but Kyan dodged it with a smirk. I crawled out of the way, watching them circle one another. Kyan never attacked but he seemed to be having fun "defending" himself from the other guard.

"What is going on here?" asked a voice, freezing both guards in their tracks. The other guard turned slowly, face paling when he recognised Maven.

"He started it!" the guard exclaimed breathlessly, his face red with exhaustion.

Maven turned silently toward Kyan, his face blank but I didn't miss the boiling anger nestled in the set of his jaw.

"He was about to hit her," Kyan said defensively. "I simply reminded him that Your Majesty did not want your wares damaged."

"She was fighting me!" the guard exclaimed. When Maven's face did not shift into a mask of understanding, he continued quickly, "she didn't want to listen. I had no other choice."

He was visibly sweating now.

"Did she now?" Maven turned to me, his brows raised.

I shook my head vigorously, trying to inject as much submission and helplessness into my expression as possible. In my current state, it wasn't difficult.

"You do not touch her, you understand me? She is not to be touched or harmed by anyone," said Maven, each word as sharp as knives, each word accompanied by a punch.

 _Not to be touched by anyone but Maven, of course._

"The next time this happens, you will suffer much more than mere punches. Now go before I change my mind." Maven looked down at me as if he wanted to say something. I saw a shadow of the boy that I used to love, but it was gone before I could even be sure.

He finally shook his head slightly before turning to Kyan. "Lock her back up and guard the door. Don't let anybody in." He spared me a glance, before leaving the room in silence.

"Why?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. Kyan carried me gently in his arms, locking my chains to the wall. He left the chains longer than his predecessors, and it was so much more comfortable.

"Why what?" he asked after checking that I was locked up properly.

"Why do you care? Why are you showing me compassion? You're Silver."

He smiled sadly at me. "Everyone needs a break once in a while. And maybe it will stop you from killing me once the time comes."

He grinned at me. "I will see you later, little lightening girl."

Before I could recover from shock and ask him what he meant, he was already gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N:**

 **Once again a huge thank you for all the reviews and comments. I hope you will enjoy this chapter. A big kudos to my beta for her amazing work! Don't forget to review and let me know what you think!**

 **Steffy.**

 **Chapter 3:**

For the next few days, I saw no trace of Maven. It was if he had, for a while at least, forgotten about me. He didn't taunt or humiliate me, nor did he invite others to do the same. I held in my sigh of relief, however, because I suspected that Maven was up to something. Even still, I savoured my Maven-free days, expecting them to halt even more suddenly than they began.

On the third evening of my solitude, three maids arrived to my room, accompanied by two guards. One of them, I noted, was Kyan, who gave me a small, secret smile.

The maids pulled me into the bathroom and shaved me from head to toe. I couldn't stop the flush of embarrassment that coloured my cheeks, even though the maids worked with an air of professional efficiency.

When they were satisfied that I was as hairless as a naked mole rat, I was then bathed. The maids added oils into my bath without much flourish; jasmine and rose and god knows what else. I had to hold back a sneeze the entire time.

What were they trying to do to me? Turn me into a walking perfume bottle?

The smell lessened when they towelled me down, though I imagine that part of it was that I had gotten used to the cloggy odour.

I let them doll me up, and did not protest when they put me in a dress so tight, it hurt to breathe. I watched myself in the mirror as the maids painted my face, making me as glamourous as I had been in the days of Mareena Titanos.

The dress was red and gold; elegant, flowy, and Elara would have been proud;I looked every bit the noble woman they had wanted me to be.

The two guards walked me back to Maven's quarters, and it took every bit of my will power to maintain a mask of stoic disinterest.

There was a table set for two on the balcony, surrounded by faintly lit candles and roses.

Maven was there, dressed impeccably in a tuxedo, his cursed crown polished to a shine, settled delicately on his jet black hair.

He turned around and smiled at me, and to my surprise, it was not the wicked twisted smile that I had grown accustomed to. Instead, it was the smile of the seventeen-year-old prince-the one who had helped me when I was bleeding, the one who had kissed me with such desperation in his eyes, the one that I had once known and loved.

The smile twisted my heart in yearning, my entire being longing to be reunited with this Maven; the one who always had my back. Or so I thought.

He pulled out a chair. "Sit please." His usage of the word "please" didn't make his request any less of a command. "I had your favourite meal prepared for you-after all, eighteen is very important."

Important. What did it matter, in the grand scheme of things? I was finally an adult, and free from the conscription that, at one time, was the main threat looming in the distance. But instead, I was a prisoner in a noble lady's clothing, face painted to hide the dark circles and gauntness of my face. I was owned by the boy that I used to love, trapped under the force of his will. I was an adult, and he not yet there. And yet, I was the one completely under his control, just living…surviving…enduring. Some days, I doubted I was even doing that.

He pulled out my chair further, motioning me to sit. I complied, watching Maven carefully as he came to sit directly in front of me. "Aren't you going to thank me?" he asked, reaching for the knife to his left. I didn't overlook the lack of a knife on my side of the table. He may not see me as much of a potential threat-at least in my current situation-but I doubted that he would voluntarily offer me any opportunity-directly or indirectly-to potentially hurt him. As for the knife, I was not sure if it's purpose was to cut the meat or me. Though knowing Maven, it was probably dual-action.

"Thank you Your Majesty," I reply, a robotic, preinstalled response.

He grinned, leaning back on his seat. His eyes shone with the victory of a battle well fought, as if breaking me was equivalent in glory to a man's first triumph in a fight. Perhaps it was; perhaps it was ongoing victory and every reminder of it brought back those same emotions, those same reactions. "I see that you've learnt your lesson," he remarked with a satisfied glint in his eyes. "Eat, Mare. You're getting too thin. It doesn't suit you."

I reached methodically for the spoon, scooping some mash into my mouth without batting an eyelash. I ate without tasting, my eyes downcast. Eye contact, I knew, would be taken as defiance.

Every so often, I would quickly glance up from under my lashes, and every time he was not eating. He studied me as I ate, left hand playing with the knife.

"Mare, look at me."

I tightened the grip on my spoon but kept my gaze down. I didn't know how long I could stomach looking at him before wanting to gauge his eyes out with the spoon in my hand.

"I said look at me!" he snapped, grip tightening around the knife.

I regarded warily, my brown eyes on his blue ones. "Yes, Your Majesty."

He let go of the knife, trying to study my face as if I were an intriguing novel and he were to read me. "Don't you want your present?"

"I am not sure," I replied truthfully. I couldn't help but wonder what forms of twisted torture he had under his sleeve.

He laughed humourlessly. "Ah come on, Mare! Be a good sport; it's a special day today!"

He sighed, raising his hands in surrender. "Alright here it goes. I will give you one favor…one favor only." He raised his forefinger. "Ask…anything you want."

I was not going to take the bait. I knew what he was expected; for me to ask for something I really wanted such as my freedom, or for Cal's safety, or for the safety of the others, but I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. "You," I whispered. "I want you."

Maven's head jerked up; a sharp intake of breath showing the extent of his surprise. "Me?"

I nodded. "Not King Maven. I want to spend some time with Prince Maven; my friend, my betrothed… I miss him, I miss him so much." I realized how true my words were as they escaped my mouth.

Maven mask dropped and for a second, I saw my _friend_ Maven. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What are you trying to pull here, Mare? Try something-anything-and I will make you pay so dearly you are going to wish you were dead."

 _I already wish I was dead_. "You know me well Your Majesty; you know that I can't lie to you. Look at me and tell me that I'm lying."

He looked at me, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together in a circular mention. After a moment of silence, he stood up and reached for his crown, handing it to one of his guard. "Lose it and die. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. I will guard it with my life."

Maven came to stand closer to me, extending his hand. "Come."

"Yes, Your Majesty," I replied taking his hand as he helped me up.

He looked at me again, indecision written all over his face. "Please…for tonight, call me Maven."

And his face was so open, so earnest that I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. He was the boy that I used to know and it hurt so much. "Maven" I whispered, my voice cracking. "I've missed you"

He squeezed my hand and pulled me gently behind him.

"Where are we going?"

"To the gardens. I know how much you love them. Don't worry, you won't be cold."

As if I was worrying about the cold. I was scared to do something wrong, of doing something that would lead Maven to further torture the Reds.

We walked around the gardens and Maven talked about trivial things such as dignitary meetings, or some obnoxious dinner that he had to attend. Nothing really important and yet, it meant more than everything he had said to me since my capture.

He pointed to the bench by the fountain. "You know what? This feels good." He gave me a small smile which I found reflected on my own face.

He sat beside me and removed his jacket, wrapping it around my shoulders. "I am the king now, Mare. I will never be the Shadow Prince ever again."

"You were never the Shadow Prince to me. I saw you, I've always seen you. But now I know that I was not enough."

He gave me a clipped smile but I didn't miss the anger that shone in this eyes. "There is no place for lies right now."

"I agree… But I speak only the truth."

Maven narrowed his eyes. "You chose him over me."

I shook my head. I had nothing to lose, not really. "I chose you, Maven. When I agreed to betray Cal, I knew there would be no turning back from that. No matter how much you want to deny it." I met his eye. "I. chose. You"

Maven looked away, burying his hands in his pockets. He looked shaken.

"I think it's time to go back." He extended his hand toward me.

"I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye," I whispered, taking his hands in mine.

He grasped my hands tightly in his, then let go, letting his hands drop unceremoniously to his side. "It's time to say goodbye…. At least for now."

We walked back in silence. I could tell that his mind was going at a million miles per minute, which terrified me. What would he conjure up next as a form of torturous punishment?

As for me, I was as confused as ever. He switched back to the old Maven so well, so perfectly that I doubted that it was all an act. Part of me hoped that even a little part of that boy was real; a little part that I could use to my advantage. Maven was way past redemption; I had no doubt about that. But maybe…that little part of him could stop the bloodthirsty tyrant that he had become.

As soon as we reached his quarters, he reached for his crown as if it was the most precious thing in his life. It probably was.

Once his crown was back on his head his demure changed. He stood straighter, shoulders squared. With his chin raised high in defiance, he was King Maven once again.

He gestured towards the two guards on the balcony. "You may leave us."

The closest guard gazed at me warily.

"Your Majesty I am not sure it is wise…" He trailed off.

"Are you, Captain Arven, questioning a direct order from your king?" Maven turned around, incredulous.

Arven… That name sounded familiar. A Silencer?

"N-no Your Majesty," the captain stuttered, voice shaking with fear.

Maven turned toward me, mouth pulled into a broad smile but the cold edge sent chills down my spine. "Mare is going to be a good girl-aren't you, Mare? We know the consequences of my displeasure, don't we?"

I nodded. King Maven was definitely back. "Yes, Your Majesty."

Maven dismissed the guards again before turning to Kyan. "Stand outside by the door and don't let anyone disturb us."

Kyan threw a quick glance in my direction, before nodding sharply. "Yes, Your Majesty."

Maven waited for them to exit his quarters and closed the door before turning toward me again.

"You know… Since it's your birthday, I wouldn't mind striking a new bargain with you."

I listened silently, waiting for him to continue. Waiting for the catch.

"What if I told you that I'm ready to bring the conscription age up from 15 to 18 once again? And even better than that, I will even make a law stating that only one child per family will be forced to enrol. The rest…will be paid to volunteer. I will, of course, bring back from the tranches the children aged from 15 to 18. What do you say?"

My heart hammered in my chest. This was something big for the Reds-it would spare the life of thousands. It would spare so many heartaches. I swallowed loudly. "I have nothing left to give you, Your Majesty," I whispered slowly.

He already has my freedom, my dignity, my hopes… What else could he want from me? If he wanted me to sell out the Scarlet Guard…. This was the only thing I would not do; no matter how many lives he would spare for this.

His fingertips found my chin, pushing my head up in a surprisingly gentle gesture. "I disagree…" He trailed off, letting his eyes wander from my eyes, to my lips, down the curve of my neck. "There is something I want and I would like to get it willingly."

My heart froze. Just the thought of it made my stomach heave. He really wanted all of me; breaking every single part of me wasn't enough. And now he wanted to take the only thing I could still call my own… My virtue.

"I don't understand," I said aloud. He had every woman that he wanted; I heard them night after night in his private chambers. Why me? Why now?

Maven laughed sombrely. "I am quite fond of you, Mare Barrow." His fingers trailed down my throat to my collarbone.

It took all my willpower not to shudder in disgust beneath his touch.

"I could take what I want by force…I considered it more than once but honestly, where would be the fun in that?"

I kept staring at him blankly. My mind, however, was screaming to make him stop, to make him stop, to make him stop… He had to stop! I couldn't… What he was asking… How could I? Everything was spinning, spinning, spinning with decision and indecision, indecision and decision. I had to protect those children, but…

My hands were shaking, my eyes squeezing shut.

If I did this…the girl that I was; the Little Lightning Girl would be gone. Poof…one decision, and I would be gone. But if I didn't do this…how many lives would be wasted? And their families… My life, my soul…for the lives of all those Reds. The choice seemed so, so simple. And yet…

"Now there is a question that I am dying to ask. Is it…is this something you ever gave my brother or anyone else?"

To lie or not to lie… Lying would be futile, he would find out the truth soon enough. I sighed, "No."

His smile widened and it seemed genuine. "I will be a man of my words, Mare. I will save all these people and it will be all thanks to you."

No… The word was so small, so easy to say. And yet…I couldn't. The word felt heavier than a tonne of stone, weighing me down, forcing my mouth closed. I owed it to the Reds, I owed it to my people. I had to protect them, and if it resulted in my destruction, in my downfall, in my undoing… Well, better one to suffer than many. And if that one was me… "I agree."

I had barely said the words when he took a step closer to me, he crashed his lips on mine. The kiss was hard, demanding and controlling; a complete contradiction to the way that he used to kiss me. And yet…it was a perfect representation of the man he had become.

He growled at my lack of responsiveness. "You've got to give me something Mare."

 _You never said I had to like it._

I forced my lips to move along with his, and as his tongue invaded my mouth, it took all my will power not to heave and bite down.

He tightened his hold around my waist, fingers digging painfully into my flesh, and pulled me in the room. I heard the ripping of fabric and within a minute, I was lying on Maven's bed, chest bare.

"Beautiful," he whispered before coming to lie on top of me, kisses trailing down my throat, my collar bone, the swell of my breast. I couldn't help but shiver with disgust, but it didn't stop him. Maybe he thought it was pleasure, or something else, I didn't know.

I closed my eyes, trying to drown out the feel of his hands, of his lips of his voice. He said things, but my mind didn't register whatever it was. It was someone else… I was somewhere happier.

I was the curve of a cheekbone, and a smile. I was a dance under the moonlight, and a small music box. I was a hand in another's…

Hands. I frowned, coming back to reality. I couldn't feel Maven on me.

I opened my eyes. Maven was standing at the end of the bed; his hair a mess, his shirt out of his pants, panting furiously. His hands were shaking at his side and the look on his face was murderous.

His lips were pursed, his jaw twitching. I felt like just one word would make him murder me.

He shook his head and exited the room, slamming the door so hard behind him that two of the paintings fell on the floor.

I sat up, looking down at my bare chest. There was a handprint on my navel. It was just a light burn and I knew that it would be gone in a couple of days. I tried to rearrange the top of the damaged dress to cover myself as my eyes swelled up with tears. I wasn't sure what he saw in my expression to make him stop but I was grateful all the same.

I expected for a guard to come and lock me up, but none came. I fixed my dress to the best of my ability, went to my mattress and rolled into a ball.

I let the tears fall freely down my face as I prayed for sleep to come and take me into oblivion.


	4. Chapter 4

A.N: Hey guys!

First I wanted to thank you for all the reviews! It means so much to me. Okay so now I got a few questions so here are answers…No Maven didn't go all the way in the last chapter he stopped before. As for posting more than a chapter a week…I want to give you quality and I have a very time consuming job (the downside of being a lawyer) and my beta is quite busy with University (she is quite awesome too!) so… But I will try my best to try every once in a while to so that.

Again don't forget to review and let me know what you think, I love reading

Steffy2106

 **Chapter 4:**

I awoke to warmth, something I had not felt in months. I was enveloped in soft doonas; the mattress soft and comfortable. I, obviously, was not on my usual mattress. Frowning, I pulled back the sheets, noticing my clothing: I was still wearing the dress but a man's shirt covered my exposed top half.

"Maven," I whispered, trying to sink further into the bed, trying to suck as much warmth into my body before someone came and took me away.

A throat cleared, rough and masculine. "It was him, yes."

I sat up, startled, pulling the blankets closer against me. It felt secure; safe. It was irrational, but somehow, the feeling of those soft feathers enclosed in cotton acted as a ward between me and the cruelty of the outside world.

Jon appeared from the corner, and suddenly, all the anger, betrayal, and hurt that I had shoved down, down, down, resurfaced like a tidal wave. The force of it so strong, it could topple over castles, or maybe drown the girl who cried herself to sleep. But I wouldn't let him know that, wouldn't show weakness.

"I don't want you here," I said coldly.

"I know it's hard to explain but –" he sighed. "I am here to make sure you win this war."

I snorted. I wouldn't believe him again, wouldn't subject myself to that pain, to that betrayal. Never. No longer would I fall prey to the likes of Maven and Jon. "Why would I believe you?" I asked, incredulous. "Do you want me to list your crimes? You let my brother die, you sold me out to Maven, you betrayed your own goddamn people. I. Trusted. You. And then you went and stabbed me in the back."

I was shouting now.

Jon stared at me, at least having the decency to look guilty. "Shade's loss was a tragedy but believe it or not, it was the scenario with the fewer casualties. We're at war and every war requires sacrifices."

Now it was my turn to feel guilty. "Why did it have to be my brother?" I shook my head, the despair of losing Shade seeping in through the cracks in the walls that I thought I had cemented over. "And why should I listen to you? If it weren't for your mouth, I wouldn't be here."

"No, you're right, you would have been dead." He sighed. "Going to the tranches was a decision driven by emotion–only death and chaos would have waited for you there. You would have seen your prince fall and you would've followed him down. And when King Maven sees your body in the middle of the field, his fury would have been the death of us all."

"You tried to save me?" I asked sceptically.

He nodded. "Believe it or not, what I did, I did for you, for I finally figured out what his weakness is. It was difficult, mind you, because I don't think he even knows it himself."

"What is his weakness?"

"You."

I snorted.

"You will be his downfall, my dear," he said with a smile.

"Right. Sure. Whatever you say."

"Believe me, don't believe me; it doesn't matter. But I am telling you the truth, Mare. He came to me last night, asking if there was a future in which you and him could be together."

"What was your answer to that?" I asked, my mind still spinning with confusion and incredulity and suspicion.

"I told him that there was a chance- "

I shot him a murderous glare.

"Which was a lie of course," he added hastily. "At least not the way he thinks and not in the way you are ready to hear."

I sighed, exasperated. "Your cryptic messages are getting old."

"I am doing what I have to do to save us all. Someone will be coming to save you. Don't leave with them, the fate that would follow…." He shuddered at the thought.

"I have no time to explain, the King will be back in twelve minutes. But when they come to save you don't leave, do whatever you can to keep them away. If you were to leave now, Maven will destroy everything to punish you. Everybody you know and love will die – Norta will be a river of blood." He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, as if the thought itself was painful enough. "It will be a slaughter of the likes we have never seen before."

I looked down at my hands, not entirely sure of what to say. "What about Cal- "

Jon gave me a small smile. "You were always meant to be Tiberias' downfall. From the moment you met him at that tavern he was lost; no matter the choices you would have made. "

"How–"

He shook his head. "We don't have the time. Listen. When the blue moon reaches it's peak, a proposal of betrayal will come your way–don't accept, use your love for Tiberias to make the king believe he can have what he wants more than anything else…you."

"Why would I do that?"

He glanced quickly at the door. "Because you want to keep Tiberias and Farley safe, because you know that it's right and because you want to finally save the New Bloods."

"They're dead, Maven killed them." I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "You're lying again, I've seen the bodies."

"Are you sure? Can you be sure it wasn't a decoy?"

I frowned.

"He didn't kill them; he is keeping them in a place you can't access just yet. But soon, you will."

"Why? Why does he have them?"

"I don't know, I don't think he even knows. He wanted them because he knew you wanted them. I can't stay longer." He jumped up and walked to the door. "I believe in you," he added before exiting the room.

I realized that I had forgotten, in the heat of things, to ask him how he managed to get into here without anyone noticing. Did Kyan try to stop him at all?

I didn't have the time to ponder over his words as Maven walked in the room.

"Mare," he acknowledged me, with a clip voice.

I realized all too late how I must have looked, sitting on his bed as if it was my home. "I am sorry Your Majesty, I shouldn't-" I stood up slowly, with as much dignity as I could muster.

"No Mare it's…" He sighed, shaking his head. "You don't have to…"

He was at a lost for words. It was disconcerting; Maven was nothing if eloquent. I looked down at his hands, which were currently holding a folder.

He saw my eyes on the folder and opened it, spreading its contents across the bed. "You held your end of the bargain even if I didn't…act on it. This is what I promised."

He pointed at the folder.

I took a tentative step toward the bed. "I don't understand."

"The Reds in the war. These are the orders changing the law, it is effective already, don't worry."

Jon's words replayed in my head. Was I really his weakness? Would I be his downfall?

I reached for the folder and smiled as brightly as I could. Hid eyes light up at that smile, and in that moment, I believed Jon. I had been good at faking when I was Mareena, I was close to being a master of deception. I just had to up my game a little and attempt to deceive the only man I never had before– Maven Calore, King of Norta. "Thank you, Your Majesty."

"Please…call me Maven, at least in private." The gentleness in his tone hurt me just as much as every harsh word he had spoken to me.

"Maven," I repeated, keeping my smile on my face. _I will destroy you_. I added to myself and at the thought, my smile turned genuine. _I will destroy you_ …


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N:** Hello my lovely readers!

Thank you so much for all your reviews and kind messages it means so much to me. I will try to post more than once a week soon as I will have a long week end at the end of April but for the moment, once a week is the best I can commit too but I will try my hardest to update a bit more. Your reviews are really pushing me to write more.

I hope you are going to enjoy this chapter as much as you did. Once again a big shout out to my beta.

Steffy2106

 **Chapter 5:**

Maven was away the next few days, gone to make sure that the new laws were enforced. I was to use his quarters as if they were mine, however, I was prohibited from leaving them without him. I also was to never open the doors unless I was certain that Kyan was on the other side.

I had attempted to keep my face blank at this, but couldn't help but wonder how Maven knew of my kinship with Kyan. Was it all a game? Was Kyan a spy for Maven? I wouldn't be surprised if he were.

Once I was alone in his quarters, I decided to make the most of it. Cal had been hiding most of his secrets in his chamber, but I knew Maven was smarter than that. Considering he was leaving me alone and unsupervised, I highly doubted that I'd find anything of a sensitive nature here. But it couldn't hurt to look, and maybe I'd find something here; something about his strategy, something about the new bloods and where they were hiding.

I was going through Maven's books when a knock on the door stopped me short.

"It's Kyan, may I come in?"

I let out a sigh of relief, setting the book I was holding back on the shelf. "Yes."

He walked in, closing the door behind him, and rested his back against it. "I just thought you'd like to know that King Maven is on his way back. He should be here tomorrow."

He pointed towards the shelf. "Maybe you should make sure that everything is as he left it."

I nodded. "Thank you for the warning, there wasn't anything to find anyway."

"Did you expect any less?" He asked cocking his head to the side. "He is smart, if there's anything to find, it'll be in his office." He frowned at my expression. "But nobody is allowed in there, not even his advisors."

"Whose side are you on?" I asked, standing up to face him.

"I am on the side of peace, Mare; I just want my people to be safe."

"Your people? The silvers?" I frowned. Did that mean he was on Maven's side?

Kyan gave me a small smile. "That's one way to see it."

"What's the other way?" When he remained silent I understood. "You don't trust me."

"Trust goes both ways." He smiled. "One of us will have to take a leap of faith."

"You want me to give you the benefit of the doubt?"

Kyan nodded.

"I've given my trust out too easily in the past. I paid the price for that again and again; and not lightly either." I studied him, the gentleness of his eyes, and the earnest tilt of his smile. Could I trust this man? Could I put myself in his power and trust that he doesn't betray me?

"Try once more, let me prove you wrong."

Could I put myself in his power and trust that he doesn't betray me?

I started to replace the books on the shelves, troubled. My hand had been burnt too many times, but the fire sure could be tempting…

"If I find something worth sharing I will let you know."

He nodded. "I will bring you some dinner."

* * *

I woke up to Maven asleep beside me. He was still fully-clothed, lying on top of the blankets.

I studied his features as he slept; he looked so peaceful, so young, so unlike the young barbaric psychopath that I'd grown to know. I sighed, my gaze falling to his hands. Rested in his stomach, they were cleaned and meticulously manicured–nobody would truly believe the amount of blood that had stained them.

I could kill him right now; it would be so easy. Just one sharp stab in the carotid and then what? I would probably be executed immediately and who would take his throne? Probably Evangeline or Ptolemus…someone with hatred and disregard for Red lives (even more so than Maven) and this…this would all be for naught.

But for now I was in…I could help the rebels from my place by his side, I could find the new bloods and we could take over once and for all. A coup…that's what I needed.

"You know it's not polite to stare."

I glanced at Maven's sleepy eyes and forced a smile. "I didn't think you were awake."

"What were you thinking about," he asked, his eyes fixed on mine.

"You look so peaceful when you sleep," I whispered, forcing my gaze to soften. "It suits you. You always seem so tense."

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown," he whispered almost to himself. "You seemed to be pondering something." He turned to face me.

 _Yes, I was pondering if it was worth killing you in your sleep._ I shook my head.

"Come on tell me. I promise it won't have any consequence."

"I was wondering why you stopped?" That was not a lie.

His eyes widened in surprise. "I thought it was what you wanted."

"I did but–"

He sighed, sitting up on the bed, turning his back to me. "I wanted you willing not…not that way. I'm going to shower," he added, getting up without giving me a second glance.

I stood up when I heard the water run, not really knowing what to do. I circled the room and picked up Maven jacket from the floor. The sound of crisping paper intrigued me.

My hands reached into his inside pocket, pulling the paper out. I studied it; it was note from one of his general. I read it as fast as I could, knowing that Maven would be out in any second. It was a brief note, detailing a strategy for a battle against the lakelanders that would occur in the coming week.

I memorize as much as I could before Maven turned the water off. I quickly put the paper back in his pocket and rested his jacket on the back of the chair.

When Maven came out dressed his eyes went directly to his jacket.

"I didn't want it to be crinkled…I hope you don't mind."

He smiled. "How very domestic of you."

I shrugged walking to the window, turning my back to him. "I don't know how to thank you so I thought that I could at least try."

Maven was silent for a moment. "Try what?" He was so close behind me I swore I could feel the heat of his breath on my back.

"Try to make it work," I whispered.

"Mare, turn around." He was so close. My body felt warmer…uncomfortably so.

I turned around slowly making sure to keep my eyes locked on his.

"Do you mean that?"

"So much more than you think."

Maven raised a tentative hand towards me, hesitating before brushing my cheekbone with the back of his hand. "I sure hope you do mean it Mare because if you do…I can make you-us very happy. But if you don't…" He trailed of meaningfully. There was no need for him to elaborate on his half threat, I knew he would make my life a living nightmare.

I reached for his hand on my face and squeezed. "I guess I will just have to prove it to you."

Maven gave me a half smile. "I like the sound of that." He sighed before turning toward the door. "I have to meet with the advisors. I am already late but…later?"

I nodded, continuing to repeat in my mind all the things that I had read on that piece of paper. Again, and again, and again. I could not forget; not even a single point.

He grabbed his jacket and turned around one more time to study me before exiting the room.

I leaned against the windowsill, watching the winds play with trees. It looked so peaceful outside, so welcoming.

Could I really play the part? Could I pretend to forgive him? Would he even believe me?

 _He will believe you because he wants to believe it_. Jon's voice ran in my head as if he was here beside me.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't hear Kyan enter. I couldn't contain my yelp of surprise as he touched my arm.

"I knocked twice," he said with a faint blush. "I feared he might have–"

"Hurt me?"

Kyan nodded.

"Don't worry, it's my turn now."

"To what?"

"Hurt him." I took a deep breath. "I am about to take a leap of faith; I'm hoping that you will catch me."

"Always," he replied. Again, I saw the sincerity in his eyes.

"The Alines battle? Maven will sent troops there as a distraction using the north roads. Make sure you have soldiers waiting in the dark south forest; this is where the weapons are going to be. Destroy the carriages to set them back."

"Thank you, Mare. You will be our salvation," he whispered in reverence before exiting the room in a hurry.

 _I will be everything you wished Maven, until I have all the cards in hands. And then I will make you pay for all the suffering you caused me and mine._ I tightened my hands into fists, knowing that my desire for revenge will be the only thing stopping this charade from breaking me completely.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N:** Hey guys!

So sorry for posting a day late but my beta had some exams and it obviously took priority on this story. I want to thank all the anon reviews and I was so sad I didn't manage to deliver but I promised once a week and I will at least commit to that.

All your kind words brought a huge smile on my face. I really hope you will enjoy this chapter

Steffy2106

 **Chapter 6:**

For the next few days, Maven was gone during the day, but he was always back for dinner. That, we usually ate in silence before sharing his bed. We just slept, him on his side, and I on mine, and after four nights I started to relax.

Tonight, however, he didn't join me for dinner, and though I was faking it most of the time, I couldn't hide the fact that I missed his presence. He was, after Kyan, my only companion. And though I hated him…somehow he made me happy. I guess that saying really was true. Fake it until you make it. Or in this case, until you come to believe it.

I was almost asleep when I felt the bed dip beside me.

"Maven?" I whispered, turning my head to face him.

"I'm sorry for not coming back it was…." He took a deep breath. "I won't be able to stay with you all night. I have to go meet the Alines' troup tomorrow." There was sorrow in his eyes, sorrow and anger and dread. It made him seem human again.

"At least the remaining ones," he shook his head, as if to shake all those memories away. "May I hold you?" His voice was tentative...hesitant.

"Of course."

He let out a sigh of relief, wrapping his arms around me. He pulled me close, so close that I could feel his heartbeat against my back.

He quickly kissed the top of my head, which surprised me as tenderness from Maven was not something I was accustomed to.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice laced with dread.

He sighed again sliding his hand under my shirt, tracing patterns around my navel. "We lost."

"You lost?" This was the first time that he was openly talking about his battle strategy to me. Did this mean he trusted me? It shouldn't matter, but it did. I told myself that it was because he was telling me something I needed to know, something that would save the Reds.

He nodded as he rested his head on top of mine as I turned my head to face the wall again. "The strategy, for the Alines…. It was perfect, I asked the officers to trust me and we lost."

I tried to keep my heart as calm as possible. His strategy was brilliant and if it wasn't for Kyan or I, it would have been a massacre for the rebellion. "I'm sorry." I rested my hand on his forearm.

Maven let out a humorless laugh. "No you're not. You're glad your people survived."

"I am sorry Maven. Of course I am happy my people are safe but…I am also sorry that lives were lost and that you're upset."

Maven didn't answer but pulled me closer to him, continuing his ministration on my stomach. It felt so intimate in this bed…too intimate that it was almost obscene.

My mind went to Kyan. He didn't betray me, but he was a Silver; there was no doubt about it but maybe he was not fully Silver….

"Do you think Red and Silver can have children?" I asked, unthinking.

His hand stilled against my stomach and I realized how he could have interpreted this. I was about to explain when he spoke.

"Do you want a child Mare?" He sounded hesitant.

I couldn't help but snort. "No! Of course I don't!"

I felt Maven tense against me as his hand on my stomach tightened into a fist. I knew he thought that I just bluntly rejected him and even if it were the case, I couldn't let him believe that. Not when he was finally opening up to me.

"I never thought about it before meeting you." _The truth_. "I was too busy trying not to starve to death, knowing that I would go to war, condemning any potential children to the same fate…it didn't seem fair." _Still the truth_. "But then we were betrothed, I couldn't help but wonder about children." _Mostly to make sure my secret was not revealed_. "But now Maven, can you imagine us having a child? The traitor and the King? To keep him safe, he would have to go into hiding. We wouldn't be able to raise him or love him and if anyone found out…. They would think that he was the result of rape, even if it wasn't true." This was all true but I was happy that I had my back at him and that the room was pitched black because I couldn't imagine a world where I would voluntarily let him touch me.

I held my breath, praying that my words calmed Maven. I was so close to cracking him…I couldn't lose him now.

Maven finally relaxed against my back and started to caress my stomach again.

"Yes. We…they can have children. It's rare that it happens, and even rarer that it's public knowledge, but the majority of them turn out Red. Or so I'm told. Like I said, it's not common knowledge."

I nodded, closing my eyes with relief.

Maven was silent for so long that I thought he was asleep. "I know this is all hypothetical but I just need to put it out there."

"Put what out there?"

"You shouldn't fear having a child Mare, because if we did have one I would never let anybody take him away from you. I would love him and protect him from any harm. You know that, right?"

 _Until I do something to anger you and you use that innocent child as punishment, until he is born Red and you couldn't care less about him or me…._ I sighed not sure how long I could keep the charade; how long could I plainly lie to him.

"Mare, answer me." His tone didn't sound as commanding as it usually did. It was almost like he was pleading.

"I want to…I honestly want to."

"Okay…. I can work with that," he whispered as slumber overtook him.

* * *

When I awoke, Maven was already gone but there were a couple of Osaria roses by the bed. There was no note but I knew they were from him anyway. They were my favourite flowers.

When I walked out of the bathroom after my shower I couldn't contain my yelp of surprise. Julian was standing in my room.

He extended his hand. "Let's go! We don't have much time. Cal is waiting."

Hearing Cal's name made my heart race. Realizing he was close made me realized how badly I wanted to see him. I crossed my arms on my chest, stopping myself from reaching for his hand.

Jon words replied in my head–they had come to save me and going with them would be the biggest mistake of my life.

I shook my head. "No, I can't. It's not time."

"We just won a large battle. It is now or never. The troupes are confused and the castle is not as protected as usual."

"You won because of me. I have to stay."

Julian glanced at the unmade bed which clearly had two people in it. "You have to or you want to?"

I flushed with anger at his implication. "I need to stay. I will help you win."

"I can force you to come." He took a step toward me

"You wouldn't…." I trailed off, taking a step back toward the bathroom.

"If I don't go back with you, Cal and your friend Kilorn will try and get themselves killed, trying to rescue you. They watched you, you know. Maven broadcasted everything. I almost couldn't stop them from barging in here with me." Julian shook his head and let out a weary sigh.

"But if you take me with you, Maven will destroy us all and deep down you know that." I could see the doubt in his eyes. "You know that coming for me was a mistake. Tell them that I'm fine; tell them I need to stay here. "

"Cal…he won't believe me. He will never believe you are choosing Maven over us…not after…" he trailed off.

"It wouldn't be the first promise I broke," I mumbled. I looked around the room and stopped on the desk.

I wrote a quick note to Cal, shoved it in an envelope and gave it to Julian. "Give this to Cal. It will make him back off." Hopefully.

"It's risky."

"Believe me, the Scarlet Guard needs me here. I will weaken the power and when we're ready you will strike. "

"Mare…."

I shook my head. "Go now and tell them…." Tell them what? I wasn't even sure how I felt about anything or anyone anymore. "Just keep them safe."

Julian looked reluctant.

"Now Julian. Leave now." I turned around and walked out to the balcony.

I knew the note would hit Cal badly but I also knew that it was the only thing that I could do to stay here. I will work to destroy Maven while standing beside him.

 _Cal,_

 _Just leave me be, I belong here. It takes a monster to destroy a monster and you know_ _that's_ _what I am. I saw it in your eyes, and you said it yourself._

 _If you ever cared for me_ _, then you will have to_ _trust me-trust my rage and my desire for revenge. I need to do this._

 _Don't come after me, ever._

 _Mare._


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N** : Hey guys!

Sorry for the delay in posting (it may vary Thursday/Friday). I promise I won't give up the story that's for sure and also I promise once a week. Also as you can see I have tried to incorporate the sneak peeks Victoria shared for rq3 just to make it a bit more 'real'...And i made is longer too!

Some reviewers asked if I could add different POV - I will not do so in this story BUT I will post alternate POV as a side story called "Silver Dawn: Bonus scenes". The first chapter will be posted tomorrow and will be Cal POV.

I really hope you will enjoy this chapter!

Steffy

 **Chapter 7** :

I closed the book slowly and sat up on the sofa, keeping my eyes on Evangeline. I admit that I had been slightly curious about her whereabouts, but it didn't stop me from being surprised to see her in my room. Why was she visiting me, and why did Kyan think this was okay?

Her hands tightened into fists as her eyes met mine, and though her face was blank of emotion, her jaw was set stiff. She was probably trying to find a way to kill me without anyone finding out. Unfortunately for her, Kyan had informed me that Maven issued an order; touching me would be a crime. And she would probably be on the prime list of suspects of something _did_ happen.

"Evangeline," I said, keeping my voice as flat as possible.

She smiled, taking a step toward me. "It's the Queen's duty to receive guests."

I raised an eyebrow. It had been almost four months…. Why did she come now? Was she seeing the crown slipping through her fingers the more time Maven spent with me? "Well, you are not a Queen and I am not a guest so…." I trailed off.

She took another quick step toward me before stopping. I saw indecision written all over her face. "This is not going to work!" she hissed. "You!" She pointed an accusatory finger towards me. "You're nothing! Nothing but a traitor, a liar and a thief!"

Kyan walked in at the sound of Evangeline screaming. "I thought you had a message to deliver, Lady Samos."

His words startled me, but I kept my face as blank as possible. "I believe she gave me her message."

Evangeline opened her mouth before shutting it, shook her head and then left just as quickly as she came.

"That was strange," I whispered to Kyan, my eyes trailing Evangeline as she finally disappeared out of sight.

He gave me a noncommittal shrug. "No, not really."

I frowned.

"There are rumors..." He looked at me sheepishly.

The expression on his face made me smile. "You're a gossip!" I patted the spot beside me on the sofa. "Come on, tell me everything."

He sat beside me with a weary sigh. "Well yes the guards do gossip. When you are not allowed to speak out or even express your opinion there is not much else you _can_ do." He leaned in. "They bet on future events too."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm not even surprised. What are my odds?"

"It depends who you ask and what you ask."

"How vague," I said with a smile. "I am not sure I want to know."

"Wise choice." He shook his head. "Now concerning Evangeline Samos; I believe she feels threatened."

"Threatened? By me?" I snorted. "That might be the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Evangeline fears no one."

"Well, you know the springtime ball is on tonight. And the fact that it falls on the same night as last year's Queenstrial is not a coincidence."

I nodded, more confused than anything.

"Rumor has it that the king would honor his brother's commitment in memory of his parents by marrying Evangeline Samos, making her the Queen of Norta."

I was both surprised and ashamed by the wave of jealousy and possessiveness that shot through me. I had no right or desire to feel this way. Why was I even jealous? It's not like I loved him…. Or maybe I just didn't want Evangeline to be queen. Yes, it had to be that. Because the alternative…

"But then he got you back and there have been whispers that you two are getting…close." He blushed faintly to this word and I knew well enough what 'close' meant. "He started to distance himself from her and many guards think he will not announce her as his future Queen tonight…. That's why she feels threatened by you."

I leaned back on the sofa looking away. The year since Maven and I had gotten betrothed could have spanned centuries. And now we had come full circle. I couldn't believe that Maven was about to announce his engagement to Evangeline today when he had been so caring and loving towards me.

Maybe I still gave him too much credit, maybe he was even more despicable than I thought he was. Did he expect me to be his mistress after his wedding? To become his shadow queen as he had been the shadow prince?

"Mare?" Kyan rested a warm hand on my freezing one.

I turned toward him but before I even got a chance to speak the door slammed open and Maven swirled in the room.

"I told you to let no-one in. No-one," Maven roared with fury, and the heat of his wrath could burn down the entirety of Norta.

Kyan stood slowly. "Lady Samos stated she had an urgent message to give, I could hardly refuse the future Queen of Norta."

Maven took a step back and paled as he met my eyes. I shook my head and didn't have to fake the hurt that flashed in my eyes.

I stood up and walked to the library, turning my back to them.

"Leave us now," Maven barked to Kyan, his voice tense. "And listen carefully. If you ever let anybody in that isn't me, I will kill you myself." His voice was eerily calm making it even more terrifying.

"Mare…" Maven whispered his voice much softer once Kyan was gone.

I kept my back to him running my fingers along the spine of the books. "Is it true? Are you planning to make her your queen?"

"Mare…." His tone sounded pleading now.

"Didn't you think I had the right to know?" I turned around to face him. The rage, anger and betrayal was as real as any I've felt. I was swimming in pools of it. "How did you think it would turn out? That you would marry her and I would be yours in the shadow? That I would become the Shadow Queen of the former Shadow Prince?" I shook my head. "If it is what you thought, you are greatly mistaken. I would never willingly be yours if it is the path you decided to follow." I was shouting now. I didn't care.

I sighed, letting all the anger flow out before turning around to concentrate on the books again.

"It was before you were back, before we started to…before I felt…before…." He seemed to be at a loss for words. Good.

"You better get ready for your ball, Your Majesty, King Maven of Norta. We wouldn't want you to be late." I couldn't keep the mocking tone out of my voice, couldn't stop the fury from leaking out. My every pore was filled with it; I was a vessel filled to the brim with wrath. Soon…soon I would overflow.

"Are _you_ dismissing _me_?" He asked, voice laced with both incredulity and anger.

I picked up a random book and turned around slowly. "Yes, I think I am."

Maven pursed his lips and tightened his hands in fists. I thought he would hit me, or at the very least, throw my book on the ground, but he simply turned around and left the room as fast as he came in.

He came back a couple of hours later, changed into his festive costume. He looked at me for a minute before leaving the room without a word.

I sat on the balcony, looking at the garden below. Watching it always managed to calm me down.

When the cool breeze came, causing me to shiver, I decided to walk in for a shawl. I stopped in my tracks at the sight of Evangeline standing there looking glorious in a silvery dress covered with metal beads.

I pulled the shawl to my chest. "Shouldn't you be at your party?"

Evangeline gave me a smile devoid of any light. "Why would I? Maven chose you–Maven is always choosing you. But you knew that right?"

I didn't expect a feeling of glee to fill me; he didn't make it official with her and it pleased me much more than it should have. "And what do you want me to do about that?"

"Help me become Queen," she said with clear reluctance.

I would have almost laughed at how ludicrous this all was, if it weren't for the desperate look on her face.

"How would I do that? And _why_?"

"Because he is obsessed with you, he always has been. You've got a hold on him, a hold he probably doesn't even know you have. Promise him anything he wants…. Give him anything he wants but make him think he should marry me"

"And then?"

She shrugged dismissively. "Then I'll do what my brother and I had planned all along…. We kill him." She snorted at the shock on my face. "What did you think? That I would stay married to a boy king with a temper and psychopathic tendencies?" She shook her head. "And if you help me－ _when_ you help me I will set you free. Once he is dead, we will stop the war. This is too expensive in time, men and money. I will make you a dignitary and you will be able to save your people like you always wanted." She gave me a tentative smile. "So…. What do you say?"

Evangeline was looking at me expectantly. She knew I wanted that, she thought she was making my dream come true and if I hadn't talked with Jon, I would have accepted her offer without a second thought. This was the test of allegiance and I wouldn't fail it.

I shook my head. "I have to refuse."

Evangeline took a step back as if I just hit her. "You have to refuse? I am offering you freedom and you refuse? Why?"

 _Use your love for the Prince_. I took a deep breath and imagined I was talking about Cal, I even imagined him standing beside Evangeline, proud and tall. "Because I love him."

Evangeline gasped but let me continue.

"Because even if we betrayed each other, even if we said horrible things to each other or even hurt each other it's there." I pointed to my chest with a sad smile as my imaginary Cal smiled at me. "I want him to be safe, I want him to live and for this I have to stay here and make sure he will not be hurt. I am sorry Evangeline but this is where I belong."

"You are going to regret that little lightening girl." Evangeline moved her hands and about twenty pieces of metal lifted from her dress and turned toward me. They looked like nails and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. My powers were silenced, and there was no way I could move in time.

Even if I was about to die, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of showing her I was scared. I raised my chin in defiance.

"Say goodnight," she smiled.

"Goodnight," said a voice emerging from the shadows. I would have recognised this voice anywhere. Maven stepped out of the darkness and, before Evangeline even had a chance to comprehend; Maven reached for her head and slammed it against the wall. I heard a sickly crack before she fell heavily on the floor.

"I told you I would always save you. Nobody will ever be allowed to hurt you," he said to me looking up from Evangeline's.

 _Except you_ , I thought bitterly. "Thank you…. Is she dead?" I looked down at Evangeline. She had been a bully, she had wanted me dead. I should feel relieved to have this threat gone, but instead I felt sick. What is wrong with me? I should want her gone, but I couldn't conjure up any feelings of satisfaction.

He shook his head. "I don't think so…. Unconscious I think." He shrugged, uncaring. He turned to me. "You love me?" He asked barely louder than a whisper.

I looked up but couldn't see his face in the shadow

"Maven. Let's not do that now. I will not talk to you about this now."

"Was she telling the truth?" Maven asked turning his head to the left.

A young woman looking strangely like Queen Elara stepped out of the darkness and I could see she was shocked by Maven's violence toward Evangeline.

"Martha, answer me!" Maven commanded taking a step towards her, stepping in the light of the full moon, his face now fully visible.

She nodded. "Every word she has spoken transpired with a feeling of truth." This was probably Martha Merandus, Maven's cousin. She was not as gifted as Elara was, nobody really was but I was told she was used sometimes as a lie detector.

I saw a strong feeling of relief wash through Maven's face and a small part of me felt guilty. I had spoken the truth except that my feelings were directed towards his brother.

"You can go now." He gestured dismissively toward Martha keeping his eyes on me. "Send the guards to get rid of her," he waved a dismissive hand towards Evangeline, "and send me a Skonos."

He walked slowly toward me, as if he feared startling me. "You're bleeding."

I reached up touching my cheek, and my fingers returned covered in blood. "Oh…."

Maven reached for my elbow. "Come, sit down." He sat beside me on the sofa, reaching behind my neck. The collar fell heavily on the floor.

I reached for my neck with a gasp. My skin felt strange and I realized now that it was gone how much it hurt to have it on. It was a dull pain that I had managed to forget after a while.

"You shouldn't have removed it. It will hurt so much more when you will put it back."

Maven reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. "I am not going to put it back."

I looked up and I didn't have to fake the surprise. "No!" I shook my head. "No, you can't do that. I… If anything happens, you are going to blame me!"

He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles softly. "You love me Mare–I decided to trust you and apparently Kyan and I…. We're not good at keeping you safe and you can't be powerless, not anymore."

"Maven, I–"

He shook his head as we heard a knock at the door. "Not now."

Matthew Skonos entered the room and bowed toward Maven.

Maven stood up and gestured to me. "I need you to heal her." He circled the sofa to come and stand to my right, resting a protective hand on my shoulder.

Once my face stopped stinging, Maven pointed to my collarbones. "Can you heal this too?" He asked and I could hear guilt in his voice.

When Matthew tried to rest his hand on my collarbone I caught his wrist, my hands moving before I could think it through. "No, this stays." I said firmly.

Matthew looked up at Maven for confirmation. Maven nodded his approval squeezing my shoulder softly.

Once Matthew left, Maven turned toward me. "Why didn't you want to remove it?" He asked, his eyes on my neck.

I raised my hand tracing the M he had burned in my skin when he branded me as his. "Because it has to be there; because I am yours." He smiled visibly pleased by the answer.

The truth was I needed to keep that scar, I needed to remember how psychotic Maven could be, how much he enjoyed hurting me. When he was nice and loving, looking at me as he was at that moment I almost wanted to forget all the bad things that he had done, the devil he was.

"You shouldn't have hurt her for me. I'm not worth it." I shook my head walking to the bathroom, but Maven caught my hand as I walked by.

"You are worth it Mare; nobody should have the right to hurt you…me included." He leaned in and brought his lips against the branding on my skin. "I never should have hurt you but I just wanted to betray you the way you betrayed me." He kept brushing my skin with his lips making me shiver.

"I wanted to hurt you the way you hurt me. But Evangeline was right you know…. I am obsessed with you, you are in my head, in my lungs, in my blood. I try not to feel but as far as you are concerned all I do is feel." He caught my face in his hands, locking eyes with me. "You are the pain in my brain, the despair in my heart. I thought you were a weakness, a liability which could break me but…." He took a deep shaky breath, resting his forehead against mine. "You're probably wondering if I even loved you back or if it was all pretend... I did. I do." He kissed me softly. "I love you, Mare Barrow."

"I loved you too," I whispered back closing my eyes as he kissed me again. And as terrifying as it was, as unholy as it was, a tiny part of me, an insignificant part of me did believe that. And that tiny part of me kissed him back.


	8. Chapter 8

A.N: Hey guys!

Sorry for the delay but the birthday went awesome so it was worth it. I really hope you are going to enjoy this chapter. Thank you for all my reviewers it means so so much to me. Let me know what you think of this chapter!

Steffy

 **Chapter 8** :

Kyan walked into my room, his face paler than usual.

"What happened? Is Maven okay?" The question was out of my lips before I could think. I hated that I cared, but somehow I couldn't bring myself not to.

Kyan nodded, bringing his forefinger to his lips. He locked the bedroom door before pulling me to the bathroom and turning on the water.

"There is no camera in here; I would know," I tried to reassure Kyan. Now that my collar was off, I could feel the buzz coming from the cameras again.

"This is…this is far too important to risk anybody eavesdropping."

"Okay…" I trailed off as the bathroom filled with steam.

"My other associates discovered what Maven is doing with the new bloods."

My breath caught in my throat.

"He is experimenting with them; testing their blood."

"For what?"

Kyan shook his head. "We're not sure but it can't be good."

"Right," I whispered back, unable to believe that Maven would hurt the new bloods. But if he was…would he do it to me? Was I under the pretence of safety all along? Could I believe that Maven wanted me dead, after everything that just happened?

"We need to search his office－it's the only way."

Kyan snorted. "Yeah, sure! Why not! That's the idea of the century!" His eyes narrowed when I didn't laugh. "You're serious aren't you?" He shook his head. "No matter how much he says he loves you, no matter how much you believe it, if he finds you there, you're dead."

I chewed on my bottom lip. I knew it was risky but I also knew it was my only window of action. "Not if I want him to catch me."

"I…what? You don't make any sense." Kyan started laughing. "Do you have a death wish?"

I let out a humourless laugh. "I wonder sometimes but no. We just need to find someone to temper with the cameras in his office. And we need that person to be operational in three days."

"Three days? I mean…I have who we need for that but three days?" He ran his hand through his hair. "It doesn't even give me time to update the schedule."

"It has to be then," I insisted.

"Why?"

"Because in three days, Maven turns eighteen." Ever since Maven admitted he loved me over a week ago, I've been even more confused. Our relationship, or whatever _this_ was between us has shifted drastically, and frankly, I didn't even know what to think. Sometimes, when he whispered his love for me, or he kissed me gently, or when I woke to the face of my friend Maven, I found myself forgetting all the terrible things he's done, or almost ignoring it all together. I wish I knew what it all meant.

"Maven's birthday is next month."

I shook my head. "No. Well legally, yes. His official birthday is next month, but he was actually born this month. The King didn't want Maven to share a birthday month with Cal, so he lied and pretended he was born two weeks later." Maven had told me this story once when we were betrothed.

"And you're planning to…umm…celebrate?"

"I'll wait until he is leaving the room for a meeting. I'll go there pretending to surprise him with a present while you wait in front of the door." I shrugged. "Believe me, if you manage to alter the footage, the rest will be history. When he finds out what the present is…. Let's just say he won't even care why I was there."

"What...what is the present Mare?" Kyan asked, his jaw set in stone, and his hands turned into fists. Evidently, he was not happy with what I said. That made two of us.

I looked away, playing with the hem of my dress. "We both know what it is and I don't want to talk about it."

"You don't have to do this."

"Yes I do," I sighed. "Make sure you set up everything and leave the office to me."

The three days went by faster than I thought. Kyan had the go ahead from his contact that the video camera was ready and that Maven had just left for his council meeting.

"Ready?" He asked, detailing me.

I nodded, too nervous to talk at this stage.

He took a deep breath. "With a bit of chance you won't have to offer him anything. He might not even know you were there."

"Yeah…." I trailed off.

He shook his head, as if he was trying to put some order into his thoughts. He reached inside his pocket and removed a long flat metal box.

"A box?" I asked, puzzled.

He shook his head. "No. This is from our techs; they call that a scanner. Just swipe it over the documents you find and it will record everything."

"How?"

"I have no idea." He gestured me to the door. "Let's go. Now. Also when you get in his office, find a position and stay there. Keep it for at least five minutes. If Maven returns, I will bang at the door. Tell him you just got there, okay?"

"Why?" I asked as we turned the corner to Maven's office.

"Something with tempering the image…I am not sure. I just…." He stopped talking, shaking his head.

"Oh, just spill it."

"There is no safety net, you will be alone in there. I can't－I won't be able to save you."

I rested my hand on his arm, forcing a smile. "I will be fine." I hoped that it was true.

He sighed. "I'll stand in front of the door and knock if Maven is approaching. Try to get out as fast as possible."

I entered his office－it wasn't as tidy as I has expected, with several loose sheets lying on his desk.

My heart was beating so fast; it almost fell right out of my chest. As soon as I scanned a document, I tried returning it to its proper place. I wasn't scared for my life; it was forfeited the moment I made the deal with Maven to spare both Cal and Kilorn. But I was scared for the people I cared about, people like Kyan who would bear the brunt of Maven's anger. Everyone－the people that I cared for－they would pay the price with their own blood and screams.

I had scanned most of the papers on his desk when I heard a loud thud against the door. My heart caught in my chest－it was the sign. Maven was approaching.

I quickly assessed the desk to make sure everything was in order. The scanner I quickly kicked under the desk, hiding it out of sight. I moved into position in front of it.

I could hear loud muffled voices; it was probably Maven arguing with Kyan.

Maven opened the door, his face beet red with anger. His eyes searched the room quickly, most likely trying to assess what I've been up to.

I tried to control my heartbeat and forced a smile, leaning back onto his desk.

"Don't be mad at him," I said playfully. "I told him it was agreed with you."

He closed the door behind him but didn't take a step toward me. "And why, pray tell, did you want to come in my office, Mare?" Suspicion dripped from him like condensation. I gulped.

"I thought you would be here and I wanted to surprise you," I said, trying to sound flirtatious. I probably sounded ridiculous, but I couldn't stop now.

"And why did you want to surprise me?" He asked, taking a step toward me. His eyes raked my body up and down. I might be better at this than I thought.

"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday." I gave him a tentative smile. "On the proper day, on the day that deserves celebration. Happy birthday, Maven."

I could see his suspicion start to waver as he took another step toward me, removing his suit jacket and resting it on the sofa by the door. "And are you bringing any gifts?"

"I might have–why don't you come over here and find out?" I smiled, beckoning him towards me. My heart was beating out of control.

Maven eyes widened slightly with surprised and his smile turned predatory as he walked to me. He came to stand in front of me, parting my legs with his body while leaning down. He rested his hand on the desk, trapping me.

He kept on leaning until his lips were barely a millimetre away. "So…." He whispered. His breath smelt of both peppermint and coffee.

"Happy birthday." I closed the distanced between our lips and kissed him softly.

The kiss became more demanding as he grabbed my hair in a hand while he let his other hand trail under my skirt and up my thigh.

I grabbed his hair, lowering his face to my neck as I moved to gently kick the scanning device toward the door. I hoped that Kyan was listening and wouldn't miss the light thumbing noise.

I looked at the closed door as Maven trailed a line of kisses up my neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin.

The door opened slowly and Kyan grabbed the device from the floor. His eyes quickly met mine and I could see a myriad of emotion pass through before he closed the door just as quietly as he opened it.

I closed my eyes with a sigh of relief; Kyan had all of the information I had found now. At least what I was doing was not for naught. I was trying to ignore the fact that I didn't really mind his lips or hands on my skin. I closed my eyes, allowing his kisses to return back to my mouth.

"Best. Birthday. Present. Ever," he said against my mouth, his hands beginning to unbutton my dress. I could hear the arousal in his voice, and when I opened my eyes, I could see it in his. He was hard against my thigh; his fingers brushing gently against my breast as he popped open another button.

I was filled with panic. This couldn't be happening. Not now, not here. Not with him? "Just…make sure you get me some contraceptive tonic later okay? This is my fertile time; I couldn't bear a pregnancy in the situation we are in now," I whispered to him as his lips starting to roam on the swell of my breast. I knew it was a risky bet; I was not fertile and I knew that the tonic had to be taken _before_ intercourse not _after_ for it to work. I was betting on Maven being sincere when he told me he loved me, I was betting on Maven being decent and not wanting to cause me any distress. I just hoped I was right.

Maven froze. He raised his head slightly to meet my eyes. "Would it…would it be that terrible?" He asked tentatively. "You know, the risk of this happening is very low so if something were to happen–it might be meant to be."

I didn't like his logic, I didn't like that somehow it made sense. "In the situation we're in…in the world we live in." I shook my head, injecting regret into my voice. "I would never forgive myself, I would never forgive you."

Maven closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He leaned back while starting to button up my dress.

"What are you doing?"

He shook his head. "The tonic has to be taken before, not after." He straightened me on the desk, his fingers combing through my hair. I tried not to shiver as his fingers grazed the side of my cheek. They were there, and then gone. I adjusted my skirt, restoring some order to my appearance.

I sent him a grateful look. There was some goodness in him, a flicker of conscience that made him stop. I was glad to know that my trust had not been spent in vain. It might just be for me, but at least it was there.

"Just…. Ask Kyan to take you back to the room. I will meet you there in a little while."

I nodded before exiting the office silently.

"Are you…" Kyan trailed off warily as we reached the room.

"I'm fine. He wants to talk; he's probably checking the cameras now."

Kyan nodded. "You'll be fine. Everything will be fine." But I could see that he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince me.

I barely had the time go in the bathroom and run some cold water on my face when I heard Maven enter the room. He was standing there, hands buried in his pants pocket.

"Maven?" I tried as my heart started to hammer in my chest. I couldn't help but think he discovered everything and I was as good as dead. No matter what he felt for me, it wouldn't last when he discovered what I'd done. I took a tentative step toward him, his eyes fixed on mine as if he was trying to decide something. "Say something. Anything."

Maven nodded, and I prepared myself for the worst. What came out of his mouth, however, was words I never thought he would ever say. "Marry me Mare. Marry me, and I will let the world know I wanted nothing more than you as my wife."


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N:** I have no excuse for being so late into posting. Sorry if you gave up on me! I hope you will enjoy. Thanks again to my amazing beta.

 **Chapter 9** :

I stared at him, frozen in place. I was at loss for words.

"I…what?"

A half smile tucked at his lips, as if he liked my reaction. "Marry me." He took a step toward me, a hand reaching for mine.

"No!"

He recoiled as if I slapped him.

"I mean… This is crazy! You're crazy! You literally spent months convincing people I was the scum of this earth that I was evil to the core and now…now you want to marry me? Do you know what people will say?"

Maven shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. "Do I look like I care what people say or think? Don't worry about me, my word is law. As I've said before, I could set the world on fire and call it rain."

"You are a master at deception," I agreed, remembering how dearly I paid for my unwavering faith in him.

His face fell. "I – It's not like that now. I have no ulterior motive when I ask you to marry me. The only motive I have is…." He bit his bottom hip, his eyes somehow looking sad. In that moment, I almost felt bad for him. "I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. Is that so wrong?"

I shook my head. "No, it's not wrong Maven, of course not. But…." But what? What could I even say to him? That a part of me wanted him which made me hate both him and myself? That, if this continued long enough, I could maybe love him? What could I say when a part of me, albeit a small, insignificant part, wanted to say yes? "I killed your mother."

"And she killed your brother. Mare…." He waived his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Forget the past just for a minute and leave the technicalities to me." He took another tentative step toward me.

"Let's resume where it never should have stopped." His eyes took in all of me and, for once, I was grateful I didn't have to fake the turmoil of emotion running through my veins. "Just think about the present; think about us." He gave me a small smile, the smile of the old Maven. "Mare Barrow… Will you marry me?"

My mind racing a mile a minute. Or was it ten, or a hundred or a thousand? Somehow, I should have known, should have seen this coming. Could it be a good thing? Could I use this? Would it –

"It could bring the peace you are looking for. Red and Silver united at last. Evangeline was right, the war is expensive. We could reach an agreement with the Lakelanders…with the Scarlet Guard."

My heart stopped in my chest, was this even possible? Maven craved power, conquests. "What about the people who don't agree?" I had to know, had to see if he had changed. Then maybe…

A glint of anger shaded his eyes. "They will be discarded."

The rain put out the fire. "I don't know."

Maven sighed. "I expected that."

I glanced at him, surprised.

He shrugged. "I know you well enough; you are a lot of things but you are not a romantic. But the thing is…I am. And I want you Mare; I want you all the way." He buried his hands in his pockets and walked to the fireplace.

I followed him with my eyes as he removed the ring box from his pocket and placed it on the fireplace. Beside it, he placed a small bottle of green liquid which I knew was the contraceptive tonic.

He turned toward me. "I have to go away for a few days but I want you to know that you have a choice. I will not force you to do anything. You can be my Queen, my consort…my equal in every way." He pointed to the velvety box. "Or you can be only my lover." He pointed to the tonic. "Either way, I am done playing around. I want _you_ Mare. I want you too much to keep on chasing you. You know what I want but I am ready to get whatever you are ready to give me."

"But I love you," I blurted as if it was response enough. But I knew that, this time, it wasn't.

"I know you do." He walked towards me, pulled me close and kissed my forehead. "Even if I know you don't want to."

"I need time." I let my eyes wander to the fireplace, taking in the two items placed on it.

"I have given you time, much more than I thought I would. I am not a patient man and you can't deny that I played fair." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "And I am giving you three more days. Okay?"

"Okay." I forced a smile knowing it was not a real question.

He leaned in to brush his lips against mine. "And for all it's worth, I love you too."

He didn't give me the time to add anything before he walked to the door, stopping only as he was about to cross the threshold. He kept his back at me as he said, "stay with Kyan, don't trust anybody else and…."

"And?" I encouraged when I realized he was not about to continue.

"And no matter what he says… No matter how persuasive he seems, stay here okay? Don't – Just don't leave me," he added with defeat in his voice before exiting the room.

 _Don't leave? "_ Why…"

I knew very well what was in the box and, as expected, the ring was beautiful. The round central stone was the same blue as Maven's eyes, surrounded by diamonds. It was probably worth more than most Reds made in their entire lives.

I let my fingers linger on it, almost wanting to take it out of the box, was almost curious enough to try it on. I shook my head, sighing.

I turned around just as Kyan walked in the room.

"Are you alright?" I asked, seeing the worry etched in his eyes.

He sank into the sofa with a heavy sigh. "Maven knows."

I blanched thinking of all he could know." Wh – what does he know?" I asked steadying myself, resting one hand against the wall.

"That I'm part of the resistant. He thinks that I have been trying to sway you to our cause."

I snorted as a weight lifted off my chest. "No offence Kyan, but if Maven suspected anything, you would be nailed on the wall by your tongue."

Kyan grimaced at my words. "Thanks for the mental picture."

"Sorry." I sat beside him. "All I know is that I have seen what he has done to people he only suspectedof resistance." I sighed. "How did you come to suspect this anyway?"

"He told me."

I looked at him blankly. I had to admit I had not seen that one coming. "He told you?" I repeated trying to make sense of it all.

Kyan nodded. "He came to my room, probably as soon as he left your quarters, told me he knew I was with the Scarlet Guard." He took a deep breath. "He doesn't even know, doesn't even suspect you are working against him." Kyan looked at me with obvious admiration. "It takes skills to trick a trickster."

"People see what they want to see," I admitted. I had realized over the past few months I was his weakness; he wanted me to choose him so badly he ignored the obvious. But why…why did Maven allow Kyan to live? Was it just to keep my trust? Or was there an ulterior motive? It couldn't be that he _liked_ Kyan, could it? Or did he have something on Maven?

Kyan nodded.

"So what now? Shouldn't you be running away and never look back?" I reached for his hand and squeezed it. "I can keep myself safe, don't be afraid."

"No – I am to stay and keep you safe until Maven is back and then I have to leave and never come back."

"How did you manage that?" I asked, still incredulous to Maven generosity. There had to be more. Maven was always planning, always plotting.

Kyan shrugged dismissively, shaking my hand off of his before standing up. "I made him a promise."

"What the hell did you promise him that will allow you to leave this palace with your life?" And whole and unharmed, I didn't need to add.

Kyan looked at me for a second before looking away, but it was enough for me to see doubt in his eyes. Somehow it hurt me more than I was ready to admit.

"You don't trust me?" I couldn't believe it after all we've been through. "How can you doubt? Do you think I would ever betray the cause?"

"No but…." He took a deep breath. "I can see the way you look at him even when he's not looking. You think he can be saved; you think he can be redeemed but he can't. No matter how much love you give him, no matter how hard you try, Maven is the way he is and nothing you do will change it. He will always be our enemy; it will always be us versus him."

"I will never betray the cause; I will never choose him over my own." But we both know what was missing from this statement. I never stated I didn't want him to get redeemed, I never said there was no hope. "What did he make you promise to spare your life?"

Kyan looked at me, resignation written all over his face. "He hopes that by sparing me I will save your life when the war reaches our walls. He made me promise that if the resistance ever won, I would have to make sure your life and the life of any children you both might have will be saved."

I winced at the mention of children but decided not to comment. "Leave without fear, I know some of your men in the palace. I will get you the information one way or another. Once, you told me to trust you. Now, I need you to do the same for me."

Kyan nodded. "The monarchy is much weaker now than it was before. Maven has lost a few important battles. It was a huge setback and once we save the New Bloods- "

"You will raid the Palace." I let my eyes wander to the velvety case on the mantel, "where the power will be weakened."

He looked at me curiously. "There is some political contestation there is no denying, especially since Lady Samos' incarceration but I am not sure it is enough to help us."

"It will be…in a few days. It will be." I will make sure that it is. I stood up knowing the decision had been made – a decision I couldn't share with Kyan because it would set a target on my back, from both side of the wars. I would become a traitor to my people and a liability for his, but this had to be done. "When you will need allies in the Silvers, go to Ptolemus Samos. He will be willing enough to side with you. He is more of an opportunist than you think."

"I don't understand."

"I will help weaken Maven's position even more than you think. Once this is done, do what you need to do."

"I don't want you getting hurt."

I had to smile at that. "That's a nice sentiment, but every war requires sacrifices. I need you to find me a good contact for when you are gone."

"Aren't you even a little upset or worried that I am leaving?"

"I am just happy he is letting you leave with your life."

Over the next two days, Kyan introduced me to the contacts that I could trust within the palace. However, I could see his concerns toward me didn't fade. _"They will not put their life on the line to save you,"_ he had said, and I kept telling him that it didn't matter except that it did and I couldn't help but worry about him. He was worried about my safety, but I was worried about him.

The night before Maven returned I wanted to run to Kyan, to urge him to leave now because what if Maven changed his mind and hurt him?

However, as I walked into the living room for dinner, I froze. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. How? I pinched myself, sure that it was a dream or a hallucination. But somehow, he was still there.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" He asked standing beside my tray of food.

"Cal…" I whispered, the sound of his voice triggering so many memories I could hardly breathe.

He nodded. "Glad you still remember my name,".

"How did you get in?" I asked knowing that Maven had reinforced security around the palace.

He smiled. "This is my home Mare, or at least it was. Nobody knows it as well as I do."

"What do you want?" My voice came out much colder than I wanted it to, but seeing him standing there… It brought back so many emotions that I was afraid I would break if I let anything transpire.

"How are you, Cal? How are things, Cal? Are my bothers okay, Cal? How is my sister, Cal? How is the Baby, Cal?" He shook his head. "But I guess your life is not that bad is it?"

"I can't believe you're so surprised… I'm selfish, remember?" I tried my best to keep my face void of any emotion and I had to thank Maven for all the training I had. I was no longer wearing my heart on my sleeve.

He flinched, and I knew he replayed that conversation. "It's not- I'm not trying to…."

I raised my hand. "I know the baby is born, and that it's a little boy called Shade. I know my brothers are okay even if Bree broke his foot a few weeks ago and that the healers took care of it." _As for Gisa, she is now working with the healers. I can't ask you how you are doing because I know how you feel and I feel the same._ I added to myself.

He opened his mouth again, but I stopped him with a glare.

"No matter what you think, I am doing this for us." His frowned smoothed almost immediately and there was hope in his eyes which couldn't be there. "When I mean us, I mean the Scarlet Guard," I added.

"I knew what you meant." he growled, but the set of his jaw showed otherwise. I knew him all too well to be fooled.

"Do you think you won all these battles because you are a military genius?" I asked and couldn't help but snort when I saw him go rigid and blush whiter with embarrassment. "You thought so didn't you?"

He looked away, his hands tightening into fists.

Since I wasn't under his scrutiny, I allowed myself to look at him with all the sorrow I felt. It seemed that we were condemned to get the worst out of each other. When all I wanted to do was to tell him how much I missed him, instead all I managed to do was to hurt him even more. It seemed that I was never the Band-Aid, just the punch that caused the wound.

"I am the reason you are winning these battles and I am the reason we are going to win," I added as haughtily as I could. I needed him to leave and never come back. I couldn't have him risk his life again. "I am the one, the only one who can do this and I have to do it alone."

"And how are you planning on doing that, Mare?" He asked with clear challenge

I grabbed the box on the mantel and slid the dreaded ring on my finger. "By becoming Queen of Norta," I replied holding my head high, showing him the ring on my finger.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

 _You promised to never go back to him, whatever happens and now you're marrying him?_

I could hear Cal's voice as I was waking up. He had looked so hurt and betrayed. It was not the first time I betrayed him and yet it still hurt the same.

 _What did you expect?_ _I've always betrayed you didn't I?_ I had asked him before requesting him to leave. I hadn't wanted him to leave, I wanted to run into his arms and feel safe again as I had when we danced but it was not our life, it was not something I could do again…ever.

I sighed and opened my eyes, wishing the memory away. My eyes met icy blue ones making my heart jump in my throat.

"Maven? How long has he been standing there?!" I asked as Maven was standing at the bottom of the bed.

He blushed paler and rubbed his neck. "Sorry – I know it looks creepy but –" He cleared his throat. "I just came to see if you were awake and what I saw –" his eyes traveled to my hand resting on the cover.

I looked down and saw the diamond shining at my finger; I hadn't removed it last night.

I looked back at him and was taken aback by the brightness of his smile. It looked like unadulterated happiness, something I had never seen on Maven's face before, something that suited him more than anything…Something that made me regret having to hurt him.

"So – you decided?" He tried to sound calm but I could feel the excitation radiated from his body.

I sat up lifting my hand and letting the light shine on the ring. "There was never a choice, at least not really." I smiled. "Now the question is, are you still happy with my choice?"

"Happy is not a strong enough word to convey how you, wearing this ring, makes me feel." He walked to the bed and kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger. "I am euphoric," he kissed my lips. "Elated…" He leaned back and smiled. "Get ready Mare, I need to arrange the announcement and start to arrange our wedding".

"Already?!" I squeaked.

He chuckled moving to the door. "Yes, I wouldn't want you to change your mind." He sounded teasing but I could see genuine doubt in his eyes.

"I won't." _I can't_ I added to myself.

"I will see you later my sweet Mare."

* * *

I was trying to slow my breathing as I stood in the shadow while Maven took his place in the centre stage. The square was full of people and I could feel the buzz of cameras all over the place. It had been less than four hours since I woke up and Maven already managed to organize a meeting with Norta's most famous wedding organizer and he was now about to announce our engagement.

It was way too efficient, even for him…Did he always knew I would say yes? How did he even manage to write a speech about being engaged to the enemy in a few hours? I knew Maven was good but that was taking it to a whole new level.

"My dear citizen of Norta," Maven enunciated with a loud and clear voice. No matter what anybody felt about him, we couldn't be denied that, for an 18 years old man, he was a very charismatic king. "I have heard your cry! This war has taken a toll in our nation, spilled much blood – Silver and Red and I am humble enough to admit that my father ways might not have been the most beneficial."

 _Humble_ – That was not a world I would ever associate with the King on stage. I tuned him out as my eyes connected with Ren, the Scarlet Guard member Kyan introduced me to.

I didn't know what their plans were and I couldn't help worry. I hated to admit I was worrying but I couldn't help but worrying for Maven. After all that happened – I shook my head. I knew my loyalty laid with the Reds, my people whom I have suffered along since the day I was born but my heart seemed confused, a confusion I dreaded even more than the King standing on this stage.

"You can't save them all."

I turned around startled. I frowned seeing Jon standing just behind me. "You can't be here." I warned coldly before turning to look at Maven again as he was talking to the entranced crowed. I knew I was not being fair to Jon. He had saved my life a few times before but I still believe that his visions of the future were somehow the cause of my grief and his riddles…I pursed my lips.

"Your anger is misguided; I am here to help you rise to your rightful place."

I opened my mouth to ask him why he was so adamant to help me but closed it and shook my head. I should know better than rely on him.

"I am sorry – I am sorry your heart is about to be broken beyond repair." He took a deep breath and the contrition in his voice almost made me turn around. "You can't save them both and part of you always knew that. Be selfish Mare- don't always do what you think is right, do what you want to do. A red queen, a red bride but most of all… a red bleeding heart."

"Mare?" I snapped back to reality seeing Maven turned toward me, his hand extended in my direction.

I quickly glanced around but Jon was gone. I took a deep breath, wiped my clammy palms on my dress and walked, head high to meet Maven.

He gave me a smile, the kind of gentle private smile he only gave me. He gripped my hand tightly before pulling me beside him.

"As I was saying, as I tried to understand what motivated such anger from the Reds I had a chance to discover how similar we really were, how all we really wanted was peace and security of the one we loved." He leaned and kissed my brow.

I couldn't help the surprise to show on my face. Such public tenderness was not something I expected from Maven. This was showing weakness and Maven didn't show weakness.

And as I tried to understand I fell in love. I feel in love with this amazing woman who will become an amazing queen. I fell in love with the possibility of peace and unity. I fell in love with the dream of a kingdom were both Red and Silver could live together and won't be judge by the color of their blood but by the content of their characters.

I couldn't help but look at him in an awe. I knew deep down he didn't mean all of that and yet looking at him as he held me close, he looked like he meant it, like if he wanted us to go along.

"I have asked Mare Barrows to marry me and she agreed." He added, bringing my hand up and kissed my ring. "Please give a warm welcome to the future Queen of Norta."

The crowd was eerily quiet for a few seconds before erupting in cheers.

Maven smile widened. "I told you I could convince them."

I met his eyes. "Did you mean it?"

"There is very little I wouldn't do for you." He replied wrapping his arm around my waist, holding me as close from his body as possible.

I didn't miss the fact he didn't answer my question. Maven was a man of war, a man of power. I didn't think he was a believer of peace but he would do it for me….or at least try.

"We want our love to united us all and bring peace." Maven intertwined our fingers as the crowd erupted into applause.

I turned my head ever so slightly to look at Ren, to see how he was taking my seemingly act of betrayal - how Kyan would take the news.

I frowned ever so slightly when I saw the smirk on his face and the clear victory in his eyes. To everyone it would be normal happiness but I knew better, I knew that the man standing in the shadow wanted to see Maven destroyed and I couldn't help but worry. Was this announcement somehow part of the plan?

I turned toward Maven and detailed his smiling profile as my heart tightened in my chest.

I know that – once war will start I will stand with my own but ' _You can't save them both and part of you always knew that_ ' Jon words were burnt in the back of my mind because for the first time since I started this war, I wasn't sure who I wanted to save.


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N:** Hi all,

I know you all lost hope – I have no excuse. I sure hope you will enjoy this chapter – there is only 2 or 3 left.

Steffy2106

 **Chapter 11** :

I winced as the maid pulled at the back laces of my bodice much harder as she was ought to. I looked at her in the mirror but she was not looking at me. She was a red just like me and I knew she probably thought I was a traitor – Like most people in this room probably thought too.

I let my eyes wonder and met Ren's eyes in the mirror – his hard cold stare. I sighted looking at the dress again, it was the last time I was trying my wedding dress – Tomorrow I would be married and then… I was not sure.

"So what's the plan?" I asked in Ren's direction knowing it would probably get me the same answer It usually got me.

Ren glanced at the maid and kept his mouth shut. Part of me was glad I was not the only reason of his distrust.

"This is fine." I took a step forward, getting out of reach from the maid. "You can go now." I added haughtily. She hated me already; I should give her reasons to hate me even more. Make her spread vicious rumours about how I turned on my own people, rumours that I knew only too well would get back to King Maven of Norta and comfort him in my switch of allegiance.

"But the dress –" She let out dumbfounded.

"I can handle the dress thank you."

She simply nodded but I didn't miss the flush of anger marring her cheeks.

"She is going to fuel your detractors." Ren stated evenly as soon as the maid closed the door behind her.

"Can you blame her? I have been perfectly horrible."

Ren looked at me before shrugging dismissively.

"So- what's the plan?" I insisted.

"Just concentrate on getting married and leave the rest to us."

My hands balled into fists as I felt the current of anger filling me. "How can you not trust me?" I asked, my voice wavering with anger. "After everything I gave you, after everything I did!"

"Kyan and King Tiberius trust you." I didn't miss the underlying suggestion in his voice.

"But you don't."

"I see you with him, you might be good at pretending but this is not all pretend." He shook his head. "You might even believe it yourself but when the time comes you won't be able to do what needs to be done." He claimed keeping his eyes on me, showing he meant every word. "But don't worry you're doing everything you are supposed to do, leave the rest to us. We just need the attention, the bride."

I pursed my lips knowing that lashing at him wouldn't bring anything good. "Are you going to kill him?" I asked feigning detachment but part of me couldn't help but worry for Maven. After everything he did, everyone he hurt - I didn't want him gone. What did it say about me?

Ren looked at me silently. I hated how unreadable his face was – with anyone else I could have figured if I was right but he was just a wall.

I forced a smile. "Are you going to make me a widow?" I teased, hoping he would take this as detachment.

He rolled his eyes. "You're not going to be a widow Mare – That much I can promise."

I sighed in rendition, I couldn't wait for all to be over and not seeing him again. I turned around. "Could you untie my dress before leaving? At least make yourself a little useful."

"I'm – I was not planning to leave." He replied swiftly untying my dress.

"That was not a request Ren." I turned around holding the bodice to my chest. "You have no faith in me and I rather spend my time alone than boring your judging eyes. Go do whatever you are supposed to do but stay away from me."

He was taken aback, what else could he expect after the ever-growing suspicion he had toward me? I already felt confused and tortured by the unwilling feelings which were growing toward Maven – I didn't need his negativity in my life.

I had just put my dress away carefully when a maid came in with a meal for two.

"I'm sorry because of the wedding tomorrow I will be having dinner alone tonight."

The maid shook her head, setting the table on the balcony. "The king expressly requested for his dinner to be served in his quarters tonight."

I didn't expect Maven to join me tonight but decided against pressing the maid for more information, I would know soon enough. I hated the insidious elation I felt at the idea of seeing Maven tonight. I haven't seen him in over two days as he had to join the troops to let them know the potential of a coming peace.

I have been relieved this morning when the guard informed me of Maven return but I was not supposed to see him before the wedding as was dictated by the silver tradition.

I was sitting at the table on the balcony, nursing a glass of Norta's finest red wine when Maven joined me.

"Isn't it bad luck to see the bride the night before the wedding?" I asked but couldn't hide the genuine and hateful joy I felt seeing him sitting across from me.

Maven smirked, removing his crown. "We already breached pretty much every single marriage tradition."

 _Except one_ I thought blushing at the idea of sharing Maven's bed for more than just sleeping which didn't seem as disgusting as it once was.

"Well I said almost." He added as if he could read my mind, his eyes were darker with lust. He sighed with content leaning back on his chair. "What can I say – I guess I just missed you too much to bother about tradition."

"I missed you too." I admitted and I didn't have to fake it anymore.

His smile broadened. "I am pleased to know that."

I detailed him as he ate. He seemed younger, happier, somehow lighter.

"Why are you staring so intently Mare?" He asked not looking up from his plate.

I blushed. "Did you really want to be King Maven?" I gasped resting my hand on my mouth. I had wondered this so many time but I never would have dared asked.

I saw anger flash in his eyes as he rested his fork slowly on his plate. "Why are you asking?"

"Because I –" I saw a flash of the Maven I hated and yet I decided that honesty would be the best option, at least as much honesty as I could give him. "I have seen you as King Maven, ruling over Norta and yet," I let out a small humourless laugh. "I know what I am about to say is going to sound extremely smug but you never looked very happy, not as happy as you are when you are with me." I couldn't help the blush of embarrassment to colour my cheeks.

"Isn't it a good thing?" He asked a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Shouldn't every future husband be happy to see his bride?"

"Of course you should but you always said the crown was more important than anything…"

"I needed to be seen." He admitted calmly looking at the garden below us. "I was in the shadows from the day I was born, the second-class son. Nothing I did was good enough, I wasn't enough for my father to acknowledge me more than necessary – I wasn't Cal." His hand tightened around the spoon he was holding – making me regret to have brought the subject. He took a deep breath looking up at the starry night. "My mother made me understand from a very young age that only the crown could make it right, only the throne could expunge how we've been wronged and then, and only then, will I be seen as the equal to Tiberias Calore VII." He took a deep breath and met my eyes again. I was surprised to see no anger in his eyes but pain and above all weariness.

I looked down at my plate, pretending to eat and trying to hide all the things that were going through my brain. I knew Elara had something to do into Maven's actions, she was power angry and she wanted a puppet on the throne allowing her to govern but I have never thought she had been poisoning his head since he was a small child. I have witnessed first-hand what kind of damages she could do in just a few weeks, how badly did she hurt him?

I looked up but remained silent. It was the first time he opened like that.

"You seem surprised." He let go of his spoon and reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers.

"I just- You've never shared that much before." I observed.

"No I didn't, with anyone." He admitted "but we are to be married tomorrow, I think it is the time for me to start trusting you don't you think?"

This affirmation had the effect of a knife straight through my heart. I felt like a monster now. I was using and abusing him like his mother had done before me and I knew that this ultimate betrayal would break him completely, there would be no turning back.

"Elara was not the only person who loved you. Cal did, even if he had a strange way to show it." I saw him pale at the mention of his brother name, especially coming from me. "And I love you, I truly do – much more than I thought I would, much more than I should." I rushed hoping to calm him.

He looked at me straight in the eyes, unmoving and I knew that he was trying to find any trace of deception but I didn't fear anything, not that I became a master of deception but because my words were the truth. "I thought I didn't need all that anymore, when you became my betrothed, when I thought you saw me and not him, when I thought you wanted me and not him. I thought it would have been enough." And I could see he was admitted this quite reluctantly.

"What made you change your mind?" I couldn't keep the slight despair in my voice. What would have happened if Maven had decided that he didn't want the throne anymore? Where would we be now?

"My- mother happened." And for the first time there was some anger toward her. Was she gone long enough for his mind to start being is own again?

I felt the most destructive feeling…hope. Hope that he could be saved, hope that he could be himself again. Hope that I wouldn't have to break him beyond repair.

"She reminded me that nothing was more permanent than power, that if you really cared what I would do wouldn't really matter and yet when I came and asked you to be my red queen, you took a step back and chose my brother yet again"

"And yet I rejected you only when you came into the light, when you got the power not before – never before. I rejected the abject and heartless king you became. Not the soft, loving tender prince you once were."

"Mare, please I saw you with Cal – you were seeing him behind my back." He sighed wearily. "It somehow feels good to let this out – finally."

"But you didn't see me tell him it was over, you didn't see me chose your cause over his. You didn't see me betray him." _Just as I am betraying you now_.

"Why do you want me now then? I am still the abject, heartless king. What changed your mind?"

I had talked too much. I was so desperate to find out if there was hope for him, if he was beyond salvation or if my guilty desire to save him could be understood and forgiven. "I see this Prince in you when you are with me, when you smile at me, when your hands slide on my skin ever so softly. I believed that the Prince I loved was just an act to let the world think you were not a threat but I realized in my time here that the King was an act, a strong almost indestructible shell you created to protect that Prince, to keep him from harm but I saw it crumble and I got my Prince back and there is little I wouldn't do to have him back permanently. You're him Maven, you've always been him and I want him back."

Maven nodded but the turmoil of emotions in his eyes stopped me from figuring out what he was thinking about this stupid, heartfelt revelation.

He stood up giving my hand a squeeze. "I better let you rest now. It is getting late and I believe my blushing bride needs her sleep."

I gave him a grateful smile but didn't move from my seat.

Maven leaned down and kissed my forehead before turning to leave.

I followed him with my eyes as he stopped on the threshold between the balcony and the room. "For all it's worth Mare, if I had to make that choice again, knowing then what I know now…I would have stayed the Prince and picked you over the crown." He confessed keeping his back at me, leaving me unable to read him. "This is, and probably always will be, the biggest regret of my existence."

I wanted to tell him that it was not too late, that we could just walk away and disappear but it was too late, I had betrayed him and too many people counted on me. I couldn't just walk away, not now – People have been dying at his hands, hundreds were tortured – Some sins could be expunged but his couldn't. "I know" I replied not able to provide him the comfort I knew he was seeking.

I remained on the balcony after Maven left, rethinking of the time Jon came into my room telling me I always was Cal downfall. I wanted to go see him now, ask him what life could have been – He said he had seen all the potential futures. What would this one have been?

I glanced at the door, knowing that going for a stroll in a different aisle of the castle when Maven reinforced the security around my room as he was sleeping away tonight would be hard to explain but I wanted to get answers. Jon hinted too many times the futures that could have been, I have been too proud then to take the bait – I was just not that person anymore.

I decided to wait for another hour until the guard change and with a bit of luck it would be enough for me to go see Jon unnoticed.

I was getting out of the bathroom, ready to go when I found Jon sitting on the sofa in the room.

"Let me guess…You saw me coming?" I asked teasingly trying to hide both my surprised and apprehension.

"For you to come will have caused a lot of unnecessary questions –" He shrugged, gesturing for me to join him on the sofa. "I have to admit that the vision of your visit took me by surprise and not a lot does anymore. You were so opposed to even have me in your eyesight. This fuelled my curiosity much more than you can imagine."

"Why don't you tell me? You know everything." I challenged taking a reluctant seat beside him,

"I am a foreseer not a mind reader." He replied with a small amused smile. "I can only see outcomes but I can't see the reasons behind them."

"You said I was always Cal downfall – Was there any chance he would have been happy?"

"Your guilt has no place here anymore lightening girl – From the moment he threw you that coin outside this bar he was driven by conflicting emotions, emotions that were only strong enough to hurt you both. His decision for the throne were clouded by you and the decisions concerning you were clouded by his throne. He wanted to be king, he always wanted to be king and if the day came to choose between you and his throne – I am not sure the outcome would have pleased you."

I looked away. I knew the love of ruling of both brothers has always been much stronger than any feeling they boasted for me but it still hurt to know that.

"If-" I bit my lip not sure how I should approach the subject of Maven. Asking the question would reveal a lot, maybe too much.

"If?" He encouraged.

I sighed. "Maven said he thought about walking away before everything happen. How – what would our life be?"

Jon gave me a small smile. "You shouldn't feel guilty for the feelings you have." He closed his eyes and remained silent for a minute. "Maven would have stood up to his mother by revealing to his father all of her plans to take over. For the first time the king would have been proud and in exchange he would have casted away Elara. Maven would have revealed to you his knowledge about your interest in his brother but he would have opened his heart to you – asked you to be his genuine betrothed and to stop your involvement with the scarlet guard – He would have promised to help you with the red, that your family was his family and you would have agreed." Jon opened his eyes giving me a sad smile. "Your feelings for Cal would have remained but you would have understood with time that he was not what you needed and you would have decided to remain true to Maven as your feelings for him grew. Maven would have gain a seat at the council as his father gratefulness took him out of the shadow. He would have requested from the king to reveal your true nature to the world, that this was a union of allegiance and a desire of peace. One whole nation red and silver against the Lakelanders. Cal would have supported the decision and the people would have taken it much better than anyone would have anticipated, deepening the trust of the King in Maven."

I took a shaky breath, I could picture it in my head. Was it what would happen now with our union?

Jon frowned and I knew not everything in his vision was puppies and rainbows. "After your wedding to Maven, Cal would have tried to make you change your mind, to be his in secret – his love for you would have turned into an obsession. He would have started to resent all the things he couldn't have in the name of Norta. He would have ended up marrying Evangeline Samos and be stuck in a loveless miserable marriage seeing you and Maven flourish with love and attentions that were not pre-planned or acted. This love you shared would have been true and it would have made him even more bitter." Jon gave me a small smile. "To her defence, Evangeline Samos would have been just as miserable, seeing the woman she loved from afar – forced to give herself to a man she didn't love all in the name of power."

"Woman?!" I gasped.

Jon smile widened. "Yes, I must give it to her. She is good at pretending."

I grimaced remembering the noises she had made in Maven's room. "Very good indeed." I whispered wishing these memories away. "What would have happened then?" I pressed seeing that Jon was not so keen on continuing.

He sighed in rendition. "Once you announced to them you were with child – a miracle really, something snapped in Prince Cal. He decided to go fight against the Lakelanders with his army and he would have perished on the battlefield. Prince Maven would have become the future king and he would have lost you after the birth of your child, poisoned by no one else then the bitter widow Evangeline Samos."

I raised my hand to stop him, I didn't need him to tell me the despair Maven fell into – I could picture it. "Tell me how I can save him? Save them both." I begged.

"It all depends on your definition of saving my dear child." Jon reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Tell me what will happen." I urged, gripping his hand tighter.

He shook his head sadly. "I can't. I've seen the outcome if you were to know and it is much worse than any other option. But there will be no easy choice, every single choice presented to you will cause you pain and for this I am sorry."

I opened my mouth but closed it again. His dark words making any other question I wanted to ask more than trivial.

Jon stood up. "It is best for me to leave now before I give too much away but know that I am on your side, I have always been on your side."

I nodded looking down at my hands – At least Jon eased the guilt I felt toward Cal knowing he would have fallen whatever my decision would have been.

Jon walked away but his step faltered and I knew he saw something. He turned around slowly, his face full of indecision. "Remember that Maven genuinely loves you – At least as much as Maven is able to love. And he truly thinks that, with you by his side, some kind of peace and appeasement is possible."

"Thank you…for this." I admitted reluctantly. "But you will see I will save them both." I raise my head straighter. "I will do it."

Jon smiled. "If anybody can do it, you can. Be safe lightening girl and shine as bright as you can."


End file.
